summerdude: fanart by cookiecreation (da) / cookiesketches (tumblr) (knight practice)
Magnus Chase ([personal profile] summerdude) wrote 2024-06-19 03:27 am (UTC)

Magnus turns this over a few times in his mind, weighing it against the weird, clawing feelings he's been having and the choices he's been making lately. He's been doing what he has to do, mostly, for his friends and his community. But it's also been at the expense of his community. He's spent more time in the past few weeks with Luo Binghe and Lancelot (separately) than with Lan Wangji or Galahad (separately or together). That's -- that's just weird. He might be of the mind, privately, that Luo Binghe isn't the same guy he was when he tortured Claudius. He's not opposed to being friendly with the guy. They've gotten closer, mostly because they have to. But would he be spending so much time with the guy if Galahad and Hanguang-jun weren't so often together?

He doesn't know. There's no way to know for certain, and it's driving him crazy. The fact of the matter is that events have unfolded in a particular way, and Magnus has reacted the way that he has, and he can't ever be sure if he'd be spending this much time with Luo Binghe, meditating under that pavilion and trying to imbue as much as he can with that 'summer qi' Shen Yuan talked about so much (it's not directly growing the body -- he doesn't want to fuck the body up -- but it helps. It helps) if Galahad or Lan Wangji were less busy. And it's that kind of uncertainty that has him wondering what kind of guy he really is.

Then he shakes his head. "I mean," he says. "Maybe. I don't think you're wrong." Except for how Magnus is secretly Sword Guy again, but he doesn't want anyone to be sad about the choices he's making, so he's just not talking about them. Nobody except Lancelot and Lancelot's girlfriend know that Magnus has been training. Well, maybe baby Sunny. He tells her an awful lot. And Shen Yuan's growing body, which he talks to whenever Luo Binghe isn't there. Oh, gods, he really has to start telling other people before this becomes a huge mess. But he doesn't want them to be sad! "But I'm also, like." Jealous, again signed. "Of him?"

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