"Okay," Magnus says, and takes a deep breath. He sorts through his thoughts, trying to pinpoint the biggest things bothering him, and then says, all in a rush: "I feel guilty that I can't do more for Shen Yuan. That I couldn't fix him and that I can't grow the body faster. I feel guilty that I made you uncertain of how much I love you and that I couldn't, like, get words out. I feel weird and guilty about how jealous I am that you've been doing routines with other people but not me, because normally it's, like, fine? I don't want you to stop doing things with other people. I just feel, like, sad? And guilty about it. I feel guilty about being upset that Claudius and Hanguang-jun asked Shen Yuan for a message for you and not me when they first talked to his spirit. I feel guilty about the fact that I survived my attack, which she did to target me, when Shen Yuan didn't, and he wasn't even her target. I feel guilty that there's a secret I've been keeping from everyone, because I've worried how people will feel when they hear it, and I can't even tell you yet because I need to tell Alex first, since he's my boyfriend. I feel guilty that I'm saying all this without stopping even though I know it's too much at once for you, but if I don't get it all out now I don't know if I'd be able to finish saying it. I feel guilty because I'm worried you'll think I don't trust you or you reactions, even though I do, and all my difficulty talking about all this is about me and how mixed-up inside I am, not you." He pauses, thinks back over the list, and adds, "Also I've been using our room to play dress-up and Godzilla Attack with Sunny. I don't feel as guilty about that one but I do feel like I should have told you I was doing it." Another pause. "Oh, and there's information I haven't given you yet that you'll definitely want to know. I just got... caught up, and forgot, and I feel bad about that too."