Magnus opens his mouth to... he doesn't know what. Argue, or protest, or suggest surely that's just bluster, sometimes it seems like he's just really insecure and can be, maybe, encouraged into a better direction.
But then he remembers his conversation with Luo Binghe about the future of their potential friendship. How Luo Binghe was so pleased that Magnus said he couldn't commit to forever, because 'you cannot know whether I will continue on this path, or someday change my mind and hurt one of your friends again. And I cannot promise never to do so, because I must do what benefits me, and we cannot know how circumstances will change.'
He'd ignored that at the time. His focus had been on Shen Yuan, and getting Claudius safe access to the plant bodies, and his own fears about the mortality of all of his friends and loved ones here, and on the fact that Luo Binghe had been talking about wanting to be less manipulative and deceitful but that it was difficult based on his history. Magnus really, truly believed that he was committed to finding a new way of doing things. He'd meant it when he told Luo Binghe to just think of it as a 'continuance' instead of a total shift. But if Luo Binghe hadn't truly changed before that, then it wouldn't be a continuance, would it?
Magnus can't bring himself to believe that it is too hard for Luo Binghe to change, because he has seen a difference, on an individual level. But the idea that Luo Binghe is staying his hand only for the favor of other people (what other people?), not because he thinks it's wrong... and what would be the benefit of hurting someone, in Luo Binghe's mind? He'd promised Magnus not to attack Claudius or Galahad unless he or Shen Yuan were attacked first, but he never did answer Magnus's question about what an attack means.
Magnus loves Claudius and Galahad and Hanguang-jun. He's never been Extraverted Guy or BFFs With Everyone He Knows Guy, like, ever in his life, but he likes almost everyone here. It's important to him that his community flourishes. It is, as always, even more important to him that his people -- the ones he's closest to -- are okay. And, running over what Hanguang-jun has told him and what he, himself, has heard from Luo Binghe, it seems that Luo Binghe isn't willing to promise to stop being a potential threat. On one level, he thinks maybe he should talk to Luo Binghe again. After Aornis's death, maybe his attitudes will have shifted more? Maybe he'll be truly committed to not just, like, attacking people? On another level... can Magnus trust him if he says he has new perspective, especially given how off it seems Magnus has been in his conclusions before?
He lets out another weighty exhale. "I hate this."
no subject
But then he remembers his conversation with Luo Binghe about the future of their potential friendship. How Luo Binghe was so pleased that Magnus said he couldn't commit to forever, because 'you cannot know whether I will continue on this path, or someday change my mind and hurt one of your friends again. And I cannot promise never to do so, because I must do what benefits me, and we cannot know how circumstances will change.'
He'd ignored that at the time. His focus had been on Shen Yuan, and getting Claudius safe access to the plant bodies, and his own fears about the mortality of all of his friends and loved ones here, and on the fact that Luo Binghe had been talking about wanting to be less manipulative and deceitful but that it was difficult based on his history. Magnus really, truly believed that he was committed to finding a new way of doing things. He'd meant it when he told Luo Binghe to just think of it as a 'continuance' instead of a total shift. But if Luo Binghe hadn't truly changed before that, then it wouldn't be a continuance, would it?
Magnus can't bring himself to believe that it is too hard for Luo Binghe to change, because he has seen a difference, on an individual level. But the idea that Luo Binghe is staying his hand only for the favor of other people (what other people?), not because he thinks it's wrong... and what would be the benefit of hurting someone, in Luo Binghe's mind? He'd promised Magnus not to attack Claudius or Galahad unless he or Shen Yuan were attacked first, but he never did answer Magnus's question about what an attack means.
Magnus loves Claudius and Galahad and Hanguang-jun. He's never been Extraverted Guy or BFFs With Everyone He Knows Guy, like, ever in his life, but he likes almost everyone here. It's important to him that his community flourishes. It is, as always, even more important to him that his people -- the ones he's closest to -- are okay. And, running over what Hanguang-jun has told him and what he, himself, has heard from Luo Binghe, it seems that Luo Binghe isn't willing to promise to stop being a potential threat. On one level, he thinks maybe he should talk to Luo Binghe again. After Aornis's death, maybe his attitudes will have shifted more? Maybe he'll be truly committed to not just, like, attacking people? On another level... can Magnus trust him if he says he has new perspective, especially given how off it seems Magnus has been in his conclusions before?
He lets out another weighty exhale. "I hate this."