"Austerity is a virtue," with a gasp of a laugh for a joke there's no reason for Magnus to understand. "I want--" To be loved. To be held. To touch things whenever I want. To be kissed whenever I want. To be painted, to paint, to look at myself in the mirror and not feel shame for looking, to eat until I feel sick, to be unafraid of sensuality, to be loved by God even if I did all those things. "Too much."