I Embrace My Inner Tarzan [open post]

[summerdude]

There's a massive old oak about fifty yards west of Magnus's favorite clearing. It has thick, sturdy branches; he can climb nearly forty feet up it before he starts to worry about them holding his weight. There's a family of squirrels that lives nearby -- good squirrels, nothing like Ratatosk -- and Magnus likes to listen to them discuss their acorn deposits. Sometimes, when they're not looking, he'll grow and stash more acorns for them to discover; he's not sure how long the winters here get.

He's pretty sure it's cold outside, but it's not cold enough to affect him, and so he's still barefoot and in a t-shirt pretty much all the time.

Today, he's been scrounging in some of the out-buildings. There's a portable outdoor fireplace. While he doesn't feel the cold, he finds (contained) fires comforting, and it'll be nice to have some hot food, so he shoulders it and a makeshift grill surface, and lugs them to the base of his oak tree. Now he'll have an easier way of preparing the fish Mothwing sometimes leaves him than trying to summon the right amount of summer into them so that they cook and don't explode, at least.

He lights a modest fire, feeding it with fallen sticks. Then he shoves an apple, picked from another nearby tree, into his mouth and a book he'd pilfered from the library into the waistband of his pants, and climbs up an easy ten feet to his favorite branch. Things don't seem so bad, living out here.

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[summerdude]

Magnus nods. As they're talking, he registers the chill in Galahad's fingers, where they're tangled with his own, and sends the warmth he's feeling in his chest at what Galahad's saying down along his arm and into their joined hands. "I was talking to Hanguang-jun out here earlier," he says. "About Ragnarok."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Your fight?"

[summerdude]

"Yeah, the apocalypse battle." Magnus is quiet for a moment, swinging his legs, grateful -- not for the first, or second, or even tenth time that day alone -- that Galahad is the kind of guy who lets him gather his thoughts. He loves his friends back home, but Mallory in particular loves quick, witty banter. He can keep up, but this is... nice. (He doesn't want to think 'nicer.')

"I had this thought. About the prophesies."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad waits for him.

[summerdude]

"Jack has another name," Magnus says, touching his Jack-pendant, which hum sleepily at him, and then moving his hand to hold Lan Wangji's jade token, instead. "Sumarbrander. The Sword of Summer. I forget if I've told you his story before."

[onthewillowsthere]

To be honest, Magnus tells him so many things, of which he understands only a fraction, that Galahad can't actually remember, so he just says, "Tell me."

[summerdude]

"He was Frey's sword, first," Magnus says. "They were together for centuries. Then Frey fell in love with the frost giant, Gerd. He had to give Sumarbrander up to his servant, the god Skirnir, as payment for Skirnir entreating Gerd on his behalf. Or kidnapping her? Legends vary, and I haven't exactly asked him if he was cool about consent." Magnus is clearly embarrassed by this. "Anyway, Sumarbrander was so upset that Frey gave him up for love that he vowed never to be his sword again. One of Skirnir's demigod kids was maybe Leif Erikson? Or maybe some other explorer, who bore Sumarbrander on a ship to America -- um, it's across the ocean from England; it's where I'm from. The ship went down; Sumarbrander got lost under the water for centuries. Only a child of Frey can call him, so he was lost in the water until my uncle made me rescue him." He makes a face. "That's how I died, actually. Surt -- a fire giant -- is destined to bear Sumarbrander during Ragnarok. He wanted to take Jack the second I got him out of the river. I didn't let him."

He's quiet for a few minutes, partly to let Galahad digest the information, and partly because it's harder, now, to talk about his own death than it was when he first arrived in the Mansion. Then he says, "Surt is destined to kill Frey with Sumarbrander at Ragnarok, because Sumarbrander is the strongest and sharpest sword in the Nine Worlds, and Frey gave him away for love. Frey will only get these wicked sharp antlers to defend himself. He's going to kill a lot of giants with them first, but. Well. You know."

A shrug -- a careful one; he doesn't want to dislodge their mini-cuddle. "But Sumarbrander is supposed to kickstart Ragnarok, basically. Like, there are other events, too: a worldwide winter, the World Tree dying, certain mythological animals will trumpet the alarm -- but nothing can really kick off until Surt takes Jack and frees the Wolf, and Surt leads the giants into attacking Asgard, the world of the war-y gods. So I've been thinking. What if Ragnarok can't happen at all, because Jack isn't in the Nine Worlds and can't fall into Surt's hands? At the very least, my dad..."

He trails off.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad listens to all this in silence, attentively, holding Magnus' hand in his. He thinks he actually understands this. Claudius sometimes says that he would never go back to his own world because of his fate there -- that it's better to remain here, knowing that without him the outcome can't be achieved. Galahad thinks he can't be the only one. He himself wants Percival to be the Grail Knight instead, because Percival is so brave and luminous and holy, and he deserves to be the one who heals with it; he doesn't want to die, and he would ask God for some better reward. He would surely do more than Galahad has. He should be loved and honored and maybe if Galahad isn't there he would be.

If this place removes them from their worlds and doesn't replace them, then it's possible. It's possible that if Magnus brings Sumarbrander here where Surt can never find him to lift against Frey, Ragnarok can never happen, and the world can never end. Magnus' friends and father will never truly die. And Magnus can stop preparing for the end-of-the-world war, because it isn't coming. He would truly be free to choose something else.

Galahad nods, squeezing his hand.

[summerdude]

"My only thing is," Magnus says, squeezing back. "Really, even more than my -- my friends, who I miss so much, but not enough to doom them all to Ragnarok... is the Chase Space. I hate feeling like I've abandoned it."

[onthewillowsthere]

This, too, makes perfect sense. The Chase Space is something Magnus built for children like he was, to address the limitations of the shelters he avoided when he was homeless. It's his boon from his Gods. But the word abandoned raises some protective instinct in Galahad, the same thing that bared its teeth when Claudius spoke of killing himself. "You didn't choose to come here," a little sharply.

[summerdude]

Magnus looks at Galahad, a little surprised. He's only sort of heard Galahad sound something like this, once, when Claudius was injured. He always listens to Galahad, both the things Galahad says and what Magnus can make out of the things he doesn't, but he really makes himself internalize this particular statement. "You're right," he agrees. "I didn't." He's quiet for a moment, thoughtful. "It's hard not to feel responsible though, you know? Especially since..." a little guilt infuses his tone. "I'm happy here."

[onthewillowsthere]

He flushes slightly, but doesn't drop his gaze from Magnus. "You're allowed to be happy. We both are."

[summerdude]

Magnus heaves a heavy sigh. It's mostly put-upon, overly dramatic. He wishes he had some friends from home here, but he doesn't want to constrain them to being caught here, especially if only one of them could come. People here seem to come in twos, most frequently, except for maybe the Camelot crew. And all of his friends have other attachments back home; he'd feel bad breaking anyone else up.

(Alex. There's Alex, of course, always Alex. He misses her so much, and he knows that he's her biggest attachment in Valhalla -- he's not the kind of guy to deny that -- but he also knows just how much she hates feeling trapped. He wants her here, but he wants her to be able to choose.)

"We are," he tells Galahad, nudging him with his shoulder. "I'm glad you're here to remind me."

[onthewillowsthere]

He nudges back. "I will."

[summerdude]

"Good. Me, too. Whenever you need it."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Thank you."

[summerdude]

Magnus curls up against Galahad, working on allowing himself be quietly happy, letting the sounds of the forest fill his ears. The family of squirrels below starts chattering, loudly; he picks up the occasional scrap of conversation. He nudges Galahad, nodding toward the louder of the juveniles.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad looks down, and signs what? with just one hand (because Magnus holds his hand so much, he often signs the mirrored two-handed signs this way) before clarifying it to what did it say?

[summerdude]

Magnus thinks for a moment, and then reluctantly lets go of Galahad's hand and uncurls from his side. He twists, carefully shifting his balance, so his torso is oriented a little more in Galahad's direction; his knee nudges against Galahad's leg. Hortense, he finger-spells. And Henrietta.. Launching into regular sign, he adds, Children. They're bickering.

[onthewillowsthere]

What about? (Do children bicker? he wonders. He was the only child in the nunnery. He has no idea what normal children do, ones who aren't raised in service to God or like wild creatures in the woods. Did Percival squabble with his sister?)

[summerdude]

Magnus listens for a moment. Hortense -- this time he just spells h-o, to differentiate -- ate something Henrietta was saving. I think...

He's not familiar with the way Hortense is describing the food, and it takes him a moment to place a likely suspect. Raisin? Now she's saying Henrietta stole her favorite part of the nest.

[onthewillowsthere]

It's pleasant to listen to the smallness of it as Magnus describes it. He loves watching other people sign -- when Magnus does it, it's like the way he talks, quick, unspooling his thoughts as they come to him, correcting or changing as he learns more, like watching water rush down a fall of rocks. Shen Yuan is more measured, but often there's a playfulness to his hands, sometimes self-deprecating, often relaxed, and graceful, above all, as if the body he inhabits can't help bringing a sense of dignity in spite of Shen Yuan's friendly nature. The two contrasts always feel present. Claudius signs the way he talks, with flourishes, with teases, with hidden meanings that Galahad can read more easily when they're hinted at by fingers rather than expressions. Even his signs carry the emphasis he likes to lay on words.

He watches Magnus' hands and feels peaceful.

[summerdude]

The mom is Hildegard, Magnus says. Dad is Horatio. I don't know what's up with all these names. They have a son named Hubert but he has a nest with a squirrel the girls only call 'Bessie Bushy-Tail' in a maple tree deeper in the forest.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad laughs. When we met, you asked if I had been named after someone too. Who are you named after?"

[summerdude]

Me? Magnus asks, a little surprised. A bunch Swedish kings. Hence-- He makes his name-sign, M-crown, with a little eye-roll. I looked them up once. A lot of them did war on your boyfriend's country. This time, his face is apologetic, even though he wasn't the Magnus waging war on Denmark. One of them was gay and ended t-h-r-a-l-l^* slavery, which is cool.

Honestly, the Swedish Magnuses seemed kind of lamer than the Norwegian Magnuses, when Magnus was younger. The Norwegian ones did sound a lot more bloodthirsty, though. Maybe it's good his mom wasn't thinking of them when she picked his name.

*So typed because this is finger-spelled.