I Lose All Sense Of Reason [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus is walking down the front steps of the Mansion, freshly-loaded bag of food in tow, ruminating on a few of his most recent and devastatingly embarrassing conversations, when he hears footsteps behind him.

Well. He did tell Galahad he'd ask everyone. Might as well start now. "Can you explain the birds and the bees -- I mean, sex -- to me?" he demands, even before he sees who it is.

Comments

[futaille]

"Ready." At the 'up high', he goes for the high five again.

[summerdude]

After a very satisfying slap, Magnus moves his hand about halfway down his body. "In the middle."

[futaille]

"Ooh, variety." Middle five it is.

[sagramore]

Sagramore laughs, and gives him a thumbs up in return. "That's a gesture of approval, I take it."

[summerdude]

"Aaaaand," moving his hand lower still, "Down low." Then, just as Grantaire is starting to react, he jerks his hand away. "Too slow!"

[futaille]

It's almost a tragedy that the rhyme there doesn't translate, because Grantaire would very much appreciate it. As is, though, the trick itself delights him and he laughs. "You caught me napping. Advanced tactics indeed."

[summerdude]

"There's another variation!" Magnus says, grinning. "Up high," hand aloft again.

[summerdude]

Magnus's mouth is still full, so -- thinking of Lan Wangji's admonishment to not talk with his mouth full -- he just nods again.

[sagramore]

"Good, I'm glad. Do you want to address poetry or your carnal education first? Or do you want to try and finish your lunch, I suppose."

[futaille]

He goes for another high five, very curious as to where it's going this time.

[summerdude]

"Down low." This time he keeps his hand steady, waiting for Grantaire's low-five.

[futaille]

It's a low-five, then, and Grantaire's curiosity is piqued.

[summerdude]

"Oh?" politely.

[summerdude]

"I can multitask," Magnus says, taking another kibbeh out of the bag. "Educate me first, cuz I'm gonna be chewing?"

[mothwingofriverclan]

"Yeah," Mothwing meows. "Also hold on, why do you need to know? Are you thinking of having kits?"

[summerdude]

"In the middle," Magnus says, and again waits until Grantaire just starts to move before lunging (politely, and wary of his own strength) in. "Tickle tickle!"

[summerdude]

"Oh gods no," Magnus says, immediately. "Also I don't even think einherji can? Since we're, like, dead. So it would just be for fun. And I'm just... curious."

[futaille]

He bursts into laughter at the tickling, but recovers enough to jump back. "What a variation."

[mothwingofriverclan]

"Yeah, dead people having kits makes no sense," Mothwing agrees, shuddering at the thought of StarClan overrun with dead kits. "Be careful, though. Having kits unexpectedly is never good."

[sagramore]

"I thought that might be a reasonable approach." He stretches out his long legs towards the fire. "I assume you've jerked yourself off before, you're old enough."

[summerdude]

Magnus is also pretty sure that even if they were both alive and here, Alex wouldn't be able to have kids anyway, so he's not particularly worried. "My boyfriend isn't even here anymore," he says, shrugging. "But don't worry. One of the few things I do know is no glove, no love."

[summerdude]

Yeah, Magnus knows plenty about that. He shoves a bite of kibbeh in his mouth and nods. Then he thinks of something, swallows, and clarifies, "I know I don't look like it, but I am turning twenty-five next week."

[sagramore]

"Fair enough. My point is just that you already, in that case, know what makes you feel good. That's practical knowledge. Anyone else who touches you knows less than you do right now."

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Mark them well. When the doe wants breeding her cunt will be red and wet. It may be so with Men also, but I've made no study of't."

[temnota]

"Aleksander Morozova," he said with a slight bow. "I know I said I didn't want to know but I feel compelled to ask - you really do not know?"