If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[sporesprouter]

Tress pops her head in near the start of office hours and smiles a little bit. "Hi, Magnus. I'm pretty sure I can't need relationship advice, but I think it's a good idea and I'm glad you're offering it to people."

[summerdude]

"Tress!" It's been a while -- since his birthday party, probably? -- and he's happy to see her. He gestures for her to come in. "Hey! Have you noticed how, um, new some of the people here are to being in a relationship, too?"

[sporesprouter]

She steps in and takes a seat. "It makes sense, really. A lot of people thrown in from all over the place, of course they'll start forming new relationships."

[summerdude]

"Oh, for sure," says Magnus, nodding. He's not actually interested gossiping about his friends, so he just leans back against the couch and says, "I've spent so long being, like, 'I'm super new to dating! I'm the baby boyfriend of the friend group!' because me and Alex have only been together for, like, just under seven years and our friends Mallory and Halfborn have been dating for like fifty years, and our friends Hearth and Blitz have been dating for over a decade, and even Sam has been engaged to Amir since before me and Alex even knew each other, that it was kind of weird to realize how new so many of the relationships here are, though?"

[sporesprouter]

"Oh, wow, yes, it's a totally different frame of reference. So now you're the old hand at relationships who gets to pass on wisdom instead of the new one getting wisdom."

[summerdude]

"I am no longer baby," Magnus confirms. He thinks about joking I want power, but he's pretty sure Tress doesn't know about memes. He's also pretty sure he remembers her mentioning -- "You have someone back home too, right?"

[sporesprouter]

And at that question, her smile grows a bit wistful. "I do. Charlie. I miss him."

[summerdude]

"I feel that," emphatically. "Tell me about him?"

[sporesprouter]

"Oh, he's... so sweet. He's a wonderful storyteller, and he always listened to me, even when nobody else bothered to. He's braver than he ever thought he was, and he worked so hard to protect me even when protecting me would have hurt him. He's just... you know when you've had a good pair of gloves for a while and they end up fitting so well that you might even forget you have them on? That's Charlie."

[summerdude]

"He sounds great," wistfully. "How long have you guys been together?"

[sporesprouter]

"He is great," just as wistfully. "How long? I guess it depends on how you count it. And how much it counts as being together when you're apart."

[summerdude]

Obviously you're still together if you're apart. Magnus is recently an expert on that, too. "What do you mean, how you count it?"

[sporesprouter]

"Well, I wouldn't count when we were first getting to know each other, I guess. But you might be able to count it from when he started being the first person I'd go to with things, just to have him tell stories about them and spend time with him. Or from when he had to leave the Rock with his family because his father wanted to marry him off to a princess. He said he'd avoid marrying any of them because I didn't want him to. He called me his gloves too, that day. But then he was gone for more than a year. I don't think I would count it from when we saw each other again, because he'd been turned into a rat and I didn't know it was him for a while. At the very latest, though, it would be when we told each other we loved each other in the Sorceress's tower. So.. At least a few mo-- Well. A year or so, if you count my time here. Add another year and a bit, or a couple more years, depending on which one you pick."

[sagramore]

Sagramore is bothering Magnus not so much because he thinks he needs the advice, as because it's been a minute since they last talked, and he has a daughter to show off.

Szarka is still really too young for anything but the most rudimentary of leash training, and she still doesn't have a collar that said leash could clip to, so he's been alternating between letting her follow him and carrying her around. In the three days they've had her she's already fully absorbed Sagramore and Laertes as her packmates, and her preference is for both of them to be with her, but she endures when it's only one or the other. She is enduring now.

More specifically, she's trying to herd Sagramore through the door he's already chosen to enter, jumping at his heels to encourage him forward.

"Good morning," he tells Magnus cheerfully. "You're providing a new service?"

[wickedwit]

As it turns out, Claudius could use feedback on a relationship matter, one that also concerns Magnus. It's a bit of a shame -- he and Magnus truly never got to do their worst to Lancelot. By the time they declared their mutual enmity, they'd already compromised on just-in case plans and contingencies. Wise as it was for Galahad to intervene between matters escalated, Claudius almost wishes he hadn't, so that one of their contingencies could activate. Instead, Claudius had to negotiate a ceasefire before a single proper battle.

Claudius considers bringing a bottle of wine, but he's never seen Magnus drink¹. He has seen Galahad save a bag of cool ranch doritos for Magnus for months, so he brings one of those from the pantry, and a six-pack of bottled drinka produced from the fridge. The drinks are vividly colored, like the most concentrated of tonics, and labeled Jarritos.

"Magnus," he says, setting his offerings down on the table upon entering the parlor. "It's a pleasure, as always. How have you been?"

¹ To be clear, Claudius has no reservations about giving wine to someone in the body of a teenage boy -- he just doesn't know whether said teenage boy prefers whites or reds.

[summerdude]

"The doctor is in," Magnus confirms, though he's pretty sure that of all the people here, Sagramore probably needs his advice the least (adult-shaped adult that he is). "What's up, dude, how have you -- oh my gods who is that?! Hi precious, I'm Magnus, who are you?"

[summerdude]

"Holy crap, Jarritos," Magnus says, immediately leaning forward to grab a bottle of guava and then grinning up at Claudius. "I'm good, dude. How are you? How's the--" he lowers his voice to a stage whisper for the next two words. "Bamboo propagation coming along?" He's been increasingly eager to start growing Lan Wangji his little grove since he delivered his successful attempt to get old bamboo to sprout again to Claudius and Galahad's room.

[summerdude]

"When do you count it as starting?" Magnus asks, and then, in case it helps Tress make any kind of decision, he adds, "With Alex I count it from the second time he kissed me."

[sagramore]

"This is Szarka, she's learning to come to heel."

She has begun to make that connection, and she tells Magnus ecstatically that she is indeed Szarka and Szarka means her.

[summerdude]

"Szarka does mean you," Magnus confirms, sliding off the couch so that he's more on a level with her. "Where did you come from? Are you learning a lot of new things with Sagramore?"

[sagramore]

She doesn't know who Sagramore is -- her conception of her fathers is very much of two great creatures who love her but whose names she doesn't know -- but she is learning things! She's learning how good food is and how to make her packmates happy and she loves them!

"Are you talking to her?"

[sporesprouter]

"I think... I think I count it from when he left the Rock. Or technically the day before."

[summerdude]

"Oh, yeah," Magnus says, glancing up at Sagramore. "I've been able to talk to animals for about seven years now. She says she loves you." He turns back to the puppy. "This is Sagramore. Your other dad is Laertes. I bet they love you too, like, a lot." #NotAllDads, or whatever?

[summerdude]

"So that's... a year? A couple of years?"

[lightbearinglord]

It would be utterly impossible for Lan Wangji to resist rising to this absurdly endearing occasion. At the top of one of those advertised office hours, he strides into the parlor in question, takes a seat across from Magnus, and fixes him with an expectant look without saying anything.