If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[summerdude]

"You like 'em until you get into a super involved conversation with them, and then it's like, rules-lawyering Connect Four vibes up in that pond," Magnus says. He's been in that exact situation at least three times. "And then you don't wanna talk to them nearly as much."

[aflashbastard]

"Maybe it's best if I can only understand plants, not animals. They don't like me that much anyway."

[summerdude]

"Why not?"

[aflashbastard]

"Demon?" Crowley says, with a shrug.

[summerdude]

"What does that have to do with anything?" Magnus asks, curious.

[aflashbastard]

"A lot of animals have a sense for that. That something's wrong with me or I'm unnatural. Spooky," he adds, unconvincingly.

[summerdude]

Magnus laughs. "Could've fooled me," he says.

[aflashbastard]

Crowley remembers when he gave the people playing paintball at Tadfield Manor real guns and only also gave them near misses and protection when Aziraphale protested. That felt like so long ago. Perhaps he was sharper back then, more demonic.

The change doesn't upset him. He shrugs. "So people tell me. Maybe I'm mellowing with age," he says dryly.

[summerdude]

"That's cool, man," says Magnus. "I wish Loki would mellow with age."

[aflashbastard]

"Loki... He's the troublemaker, isn't he?" Crowley's grasp of Norse mythology is tenuous but it's present. "What's he like?"

[summerdude]

"The worst. He wants to watch the world burn. He's like the only god I know who's actively involved with his kids, but like, it's not in a good way. I had to flyte him to keep him from starting Ragnarok."

[aflashbastard]

"Gods" Crowley says. "More trouble than they're worth."

[summerdude]

"Dude, you can say that again."