If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[summerdude]

"He had to push it up a hill?"

[timebethine]

"Sisyphus," says Laertes immediately. "Condemned always to have his work undone, his stone returned to the mountain's foot, and thence to return to the task anew with each new day."

[summerdude]

"Yeah, that guy!" Magnus snaps his fingers. "My cousin's boyfriend met him once. Total asshole IRL, apparently. Which I guess you could have guessed, from all the atrocities. But my point is -- it's not that the work would be undone, it's just that you never know when that rock is going to roll back, with depression. It comes in episodes. And no matter how much you love someone, if you wrap all of yourself up into trying to make them get better, or keeping, like, vigilant for their suffering so that you can immediately swoop in and try to improve their situation... you're going to get frustrated when it doesn't work, or doesn't follow a predictable path. Even if you're committed to not getting frustrated. Because you're also going to get burnt out. And that doesn't serve either of you, you know?"

[timebethine]

Laertes lays his hands over his knees and curls his fingers to fit. Before Wanderers Gather, he would have said that he didn't know what Magnus meant by burnt out--but now he knows it all too well, that feeling of being a candle at the end of its wick. The way even things that brought him joy and purpose became dull and grinding, by the end. He imagines what it would be like to feel that about Sagramore, and he really understands for the first time what Sagramore fears about people who care for him.

His love for Sagramore is infinite and ever-replenishing. His ability to care for Sagramore is not.

"I understand," says Laertes slowly. "How ... how might I keep my candle burning, and yet not burn it out?"

[summerdude]

Magnus -- who has been drawing this particular advice from Hearthstone and Blitzen's relationship more than his own, since Hearth has these really intense grief spells -- tries to think of useful advice. "Well, for one, you can't be everything for him," he says, after a moment. "Like, I know you guys are, like, polyamorous or whatever." He might not get it, but he does respect it! "So I wanna be clear that that's not what I mean. If you're therapist for your partner... I'm pretty sure that's a fast-track to resentment. On both ends. You have to make time for yourself, and take care of yourself, and both set and respect boundaries. Instead of, like, tilting at windmills and trying to defeat his bad feelings when he has them, you should get comfortable with making space for them, a little? He's gonna have them no matter what you do. When he's in a good place, ask him for specific things you both are interested in you doing to help, and do those. Talk about the boundaries you're both establishing. I don't know, he might like hearing that you're thinking concretely about this and have a plan to help you both with the bad spells. Maybe he has other friends he can talk to about the stuff that you're not covering, if you're both willing to set up that kind of structure."

[timebethine]

Laertes nods, trying to commit all of it to memory. Make time for yourself. Make space for Sagramore's feelings. Talk about boundaries. Make a plan. Bring in other friends. "Sagramore and I ... are not well suited to structure," Laertes admits. "We do better at striving in all directions at once."

[summerdude]

"Oh, you mean like ADHD?"

[timebethine]

"Like what?"

[summerdude]

Right. Laertes still believes in humors. "It means, uh. Something." Magnus wills himself to remember. "Attention deficit and.... something. Hyperactivity, or something? The Greek demigods all have it. Like... you get distracted easily, you have a hard time paying attention to the 'right' stuff --" (He says 'right' using scare quotes) "-- or doing stuff that you don't find interesting or fun, it's hard to be organized, sometimes you have way too much energy?"

[timebethine]

Laertes blinks several times. "Ay, something like that," he hazards. "Is it an affliction?"

[summerdude]

"Depends on who you ask," Magnus shrugs. "But I think most people would say yes."

[timebethine]

"Dost thou share it?"

[summerdude]

Magnus shrugs. "I was never diagnosed, but I'm also a high school dropout, so... maybe I would have been eventually? They say it runs in families and my cousin has it, but having parents who attract gods apparently also runs in families, and Annabeth's mom is Athena, and like I said, she says all Greek demigods have it. So who knows? I bet there's books on it in the library, though."

[timebethine]

"It's a place to begin," Laertes acknowledges. "What was it called?"

[summerdude]

"ADHD," Magnus says. "Um, in the past I know it also used to be called ADD. Attention deficit disorder."

[timebethine]

"Has it any associations with melancholy? Or--" he tries to remember how Magnus had phrased it "--depression?"

[summerdude]

"Maybe?" Magnus makes an apologetic face. "I'm sorry, dude, I definitely dropped out of school before I was eligible for AP Psychology. I spent a couple days in a library when I was fifteen looking up the mental health stuff that tends to crop up with other homeless kids, and I know a ton about panic attacks because I for sure get those, but apart from that it's kind of like, 'what do I remember overhearing about once or twice' territory."

[timebethine]

"It's been of great help nonetheless--I've begun with less," says Laertes. "What is a panic attack?"

[summerdude]

Magnus hesitates for a moment, trying to think of how to describe them. "Do you know what asthma is?"

[timebethine]

"It's from the Greek," he guesses. "For breathing heavily, or panting?"

[summerdude]

Magnus nods -- that's close enough. "For me, before I died, it was like someone tightening a belt around my chest until I couldn't breathe," he says. "At totally random times, but especially when I was sleeping inside or playing. For me, panic attacks are kind of like that, but scarier. Sometimes they're in response to something, like being around too many people, or if there's a wolf, or even if it feels like an asthma attack is coming on, even though dying cured me of the asthma. Being in my inside room here, right after the zombies. But I think that they can feel a little different for different people."

[timebethine]

Laertes recognizes that feeling--as though his body is failing, heart and lungs pressed under iron bands. Panic attack is such an evocative term for it: a madness and false feeling of being hunted, as though he were stalked by Pan. "I wish it were not so, for thee," he says at last. "It's a hard thing to suffer."

[summerdude]

Magnus shrugs. "It is what it is," he says, and hazards a grin. "But once you know what's up you can adjust, right? Like, for a totally random example out of nowhere, becoming Outside Guy, cuz for you the biggest thing that helps you breathe through it is going out to a place that feels wild, green, and fresh."

[timebethine]

"Is it difficult for thee, to be here right now?"

[summerdude]

"What?" Magnus processes the question and shakes his head. "Nah, now I'm pretty much just out there because I like it better."