If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[tallyyoungblood]

"An erotica world? Oh my god. Is that why Gideon's always talking about porn?" Tally's head spins. If the residents here have books written about them, then of course some of them are probably erotic books, just statistically. Is Tally from porn? Surely not, or she would have gotten way higher on the snogging scale by now. Is Gideon??

"That seems way more fucked up than my world, if I'm being utterly honest! But what do you mean, your aunt? She's a natural pretty, or something? They always told us a few Rusties--people in the time before the operation was invented--were born pretty. That's what I thought Luo Binghe's deal was."

[summerdude]

"I have no idea why Gideon would be talking about porn," Magnus says, promptly. "Maybe she just likes it or something, though." He's becoming well-versed in porn himself with increasing rapidity lately. Some of it is pretty good! "And... no. My aunt is the Norse goddess of love and beauty." Magnus pauses. "Um, and war. And magic. And Folkvanger's glorious dead. But mostly love and beauty. So she's, like. Beautiful, obviously."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Oh, um, bubbly!" Tally says, privately thinking, I'm as pretty as a goddess? It sort of makes her feel gorgeous, but it sort of makes her worry. There's a big gulf between a goddess and mortals. She thinks of Gideon's bogus space god, and also Galahad's. "Is she, like, nice?"

[summerdude]

What a complicated question, Tally! "Well, she's a god," Magnus says, like that's a complete explanation to anyone who doesn't know chapter and verse of his opinions about gods.

[tallyyoungblood]

"So no," Tally says, as if Magnus knows her opinions on gods. "Goddess of love, though. No wonder you're such an expert."

[summerdude]

"Please say that to me in front of my girlfriend someday," Magnus says, immediately. "I wanna know if it's possible to laugh so hard you pass out."

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally grins. "Totally. She's not here, is she?"

[summerdude]

Thanks for the reminder, Tally! Magnus's shoulders slump. "No," he says.

[tallyyoungblood]

"I'm really sorry, Magnus. That's totally bogus. I left people behind, too. Obviously."

[summerdude]

"Zane?" Magnus guesses. "...David? Shay?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah, all of them, plus my best friend from when I was a littlie, Peris. And my whole clique. And my parents, I guess. I miss them all." Tally actually doesn't miss her parents that much, but that seems bogus to say. "I hope we can both get visitors. But at least we've both met bubbly people here, right?"

[summerdude]

Magnus doesn't particularly want a visitor, even though he misses all his friends a lot. Magnus just wants Alex, but only if she wants to be here for more reasons than just because 'here' is where Magnus is. But there is a bright side to look at, so look he shall (try)! "Yeah," he says. "I wouldn't know Galahad or Hanguang-jun or anyone if I wasn't here. Plus there's no gods, so that's a relief. And if I keep Jack here, maybe everyone back home will be safe forever."

[tallyyoungblood]

"What? Who's Jack?" Tally agrees on the no-gods thing being bubbly, and on being glad she met Galahad, but is Magnus keeping someone prisoner here?

[summerdude]

"Oh, you haven't met Jack yet?" Magnus asks. He reaches to the pendant on his neck -- the one that looks Norse, not Lan Wangji's jade token, which he's still wearing all the time too -- and pulls it free.

Jack springs into shape. "It's about time, señor!" he says. "I've got a hot date with Xin Mo tomorrow! I have to get ready, I have to get spruced up, I have to -- oh, heyyyy, Freya!" This last is said more coldly, because Jack doesn't like Freya. "What are you doing here?"

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally jumps backwards a little. The way the sword comes from nowhere is disconcerting, but she's glad she saw it, because otherwise she'd definitely think it was a drone. As it is, this is clearly magic.

"Um, hi," she says, wondering if she should offer to shake hands. "It's Tally, actually." She looks at Magnus like what??

[summerdude]

Jack flies closer. "Are you sure?" he asks. "I can't see, obviously, since I don't have eyes, but I can tell these things."

"She's not Freya," Magnus tells him. "She's not even from the Nine Worlds. Um, I think."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Nope," Tally confirms. "Just the one normal world. I'm just, um, really pretty." It's totally shaming to say this in front of Magnus, but it's a fact.

[summerdude]

"Do you have a sword?" Jack asks, hovering around Tally.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yes," Tally says proudly, though she's yet to actually use it. "It's a swept hilt rapier. It's totally pretty."

[summerdude]

"Jack will want to meet it," Magnus says, loudly, over whatever statement Jack is trying to make. "And maybe also date it. He's polyarmorous."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I'm not totally sure it's, like, alive," Tally points out. "Not the way Jack is."

[summerdude]

"All weapons are alive," Jack interjects, swooping in a way suggestive of a swoon. "Like Red Hilt... what a dame!"

"Red Hilt seems inanimate to me," Magnus mouths. He signs it, too, just in case Tally knows sign language -- Jack doesn't have eyes. Or ears, really, for all that he can hear. But he can hear, and Magnus doesn't want him to hear that.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally can't help it, she has to laugh.

"Sure, sure," she says. "I'll totally set you up with my sword." She winks at Magnus. "But why would bringing him back to your world be bad? Is your world populated by totally pretty swords he's gonna hit on?"

[summerdude]

"Hey Jack," Magnus says, loudly, giving Tally a warning look. "Why don't you go see if Red Hilt is up for a date right now? Really get warmed up for Xin Mo tomorrow."

Jack hovers. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asks, suspiciously.

"Never," Magnus promises.

"...Okay," says Jack. "Great idea, señor! I'll see you later." And he flies off.

Magnus waits until he's fully out of earshot. "He's going to be a key feature in Ragnarok," he says. "That's the final apocalypse. I figure if he's not there, it can't happen."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I've heard of Ragnarok!" Tally says excitedly. "It's part of one of those Rusty religions. But it's totally bogus that you have to keep him here. Being in charge of not ending the world sounds utterly nervous-making."