If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[summerdude]

"I can't make them stop," Magnus says, immediately -- that's a chronic illness; he can't do anything about it. "But if you ever had one while I was there, I could probably make it a lot shorter and make the fallout less gnarly."

[sagramore]

"Well. I'll take that under advisement, although I rather hope I don't have one while you're there just on principle."

[summerdude]

"That's fair," Magnus says, offering Sagramore a crooked smile. "Wouldn't it be nice if there was, like, a pharmacy here? Then we could find the antidepressants Claudius was asking me about a few weeks ago, and anticonvulsants for your seizures, and, like, Advil or Benadryl or whatever." He doesn't need Advil anymore -- perks of being dead! -- but surely some people do.

[sagramore]

"Wait, wait, wait, I have more questions. Firstly, antidepressants? That's a medicine? Is Claudius all right? Is he sick?" There's a hint of urgency in his voice that he doesn't notice -- he isn't sure he trusts Claudius to be someone who asks for help when he's sick. "And-- anticonvulsants? Does that mean there's a treatment for seizures in your time? Can they be cured?"

[summerdude]

"Claudius is totally fine," says Magnus, who doesn't actually know if this is true or not but is pretty sure if he wasn't, Galahad would let him know. "We were talking about Crowley and Aziraphale's love melancholy and how the humors are fake and it just came up naturally, because I was like 'I don't know what melancholy is but it sure sounds like depression.' And yeah, there's definitely a treatment. I don't know about a cure. A lot of homeless people have epilepsy? And there was a guy with it who would take a bench near mine in my favorite park a bunch when the shelters were full, back before I died. Sometimes he'd tell me about it, and the meds he'd take when he could afford them."

[sagramore]

Claudius has depression goes in the same mental file as chronic illness, and even the act of shelving something like that reminds him that he had other things in there he'd meant to ask Magnus about, and he says abruptly, "Magnus, who is George Michael?" before he can forget it. "A medicine, a medicine that actually works?"

[summerdude]

"George Michael isn't a medicine," Magnus says with a frown. "I think he was some kind of singer? Maybe a gay singer. I don't know. I think he was before my time and, like, bigger in Britain." And then: "Yeah, Carl said it worked really well. It didn't prevent them entirely but it made them happen a lot less?"

[sagramore]

"Georgia said he was my culture, or something like that. --I suppose it's too much to ask for something like that here? If Laertes can find me a dog, then surely a medicine--"

There's a part of himself, the part that got its hopes up every time the queen found a new physician with a new remedy, that catches on to this and clings. He should really know better, and yet-- what if he could find it? What if there truly was an herb to steep or an amulet to wear against his chest that actually changed things? He wouldn't have to worry Laertes by drinking Luo Binghe's blood. He wouldn't have to feel as if he's always waiting for the moment Laertes -- any of his friends here, but especially Laertes, who's with him the most -- can't stand cleaning up after him any more; for the moment Laertes just gets tired. A remedy feels like the promise of new life. Of course it was just a matter of going far enough unto the future, of course eventually someone would work out the cure. Now if he could just have it--

[summerdude]

Magnus squints. "Aren't you, like," he says, a little awkwardly. "Not British, actually?" He can see the look on Sagramore's face, though, and decides to shuffle over so that he can lean against him. "It might be worth looking?" he says. "Um, but, Carl said there were a ton of different kinds and they all work a little differently. I bet the library has books on medications, at least? With information about what they all do? And then at least you'd know what to look for."

[sagramore]

He laughs. "I am, in fact, not British. I hated Britain. Thank you for remembering. " Then, as Magnus leans, he makes a soft, slightly surprised sound and sets his arm around Magnus' shoulders. "The library does have everything. I'll look later."

[summerdude]

"I wasn't that impressed, either, the one time I was there," Magnus tells Sagramore. Since he's this close to Szarka now, he can't not scratch her soft little head.

[sagramore]

She likes those scritches a lot! She's sooo happy. "A rather backwards nation," Sagramore tells Magnus conspiratorially.

[summerdude]

"I helped Alex and TJ semi-accidentally destroy a square in York while Sam and Mallory and Halfborn fought vatnavaettir -- um, water horses," Magnus shrugs. "So I didn't get a great look at it. But from what I saw? Yeah, totally."

[sagramore]

"Just tragically uninformed about medicine, about countries other than itself, about science, about religion, about music, about art--" only too happy to enumerate Britain's failures.

[summerdude]

"Also imperialism and colonialism are, like, extremely bad," says Magnus, getting into it. "You know they tried to expand the British Empire to, like, basically literally everywhere else? They messed up a lot of places."

[sagramore]

"What, that pitiful little country? How?"

[summerdude]

"From what I understand? Ships, slavery, and smallpox, mostly."

[sagramore]

"Lovely."

Arguably, the Ottoman Empire is going to be pretty bad also, but whatever, he doesn't know about that. Also, hating colonial Britain is something everyone can agree on.

[summerdude]

"I'm pretty sure they hit every single continent," Magnus says. "Even Antarctica."

[sagramore]

"Christ have mercy."

[summerdude]

"They did lose a lot of it eventually!" Magnus says, brightly, even though he's pretty sure they lost a lot of it in the stupidest and most destructive way they could.

[sagramore]

"At least there's that."

[summerdude]

"Anyway." Magnus makes a face. "I don't get the George Michael thing."

[sagramore]

"She asked if I was gay and I said I was queer, but she seemed mildly horrified by that. But it came somewhere in there."

[summerdude]

"Oh, gay culture, not British culture," says Magnus. Was George Michael gay? He still doesn't really know who George Michael is. "Yeah, 'queer' used to be, like, an insult. But so did 'gay'? So really I've got nothing."