If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[summerdude]

"Oh, same, dude," says Magnus, with a wry sort of expression. "Like I said, Lancelot has cop energy, and I have... cop issues. Obviously. And I think... I think you just have to stop running from it, sometimes, and face it head-on. But, like, realistically?" His expression deepens. "Well, one time I broke an entire room. Broke a sofa in half, punched through a solid rock wall... I had just died, but still. And this other time I moved outside for months? But the rest of the time... talking to friends about it when it hurts and explaining why and letting them be there for you is really helpful. Your fiance is really good at listening to that kind of stuff, for example."

[wickedwit]

"Yes, my fiance is a wonderful listener," Claudius says with a soft smile of sheer love. "When I go into raptures over Galahad's gaze, it's partly metonymy. He doesn't look away. There are so many unspoken rules governing where a person's allowed to look, times you’ll be considered presumptuous for looking someone straight in the eye, or dishonest if you don’t. I could write a book twice the size of Emily Post’s Etiquette on the subject. Quite frankly, it’s exhausting to keep all those rules in mind without a manual — but that doesn’t matter with Galahad, because Galahad doesn’t follow them. When he looks at you, he looks intently the entire time. I’m not measuring my words against his glances, waiting for him to look away in boredom or disgust so I can rein my words in. In fact, I know it’s pointless to. He has ways to tell me when I’ve said too much too fast, but he hears what I have to say, and listens intently as he looks.”

[summerdude]

"What's metonymy?" Magnus asks, since Claudius is the kind of guy it's easy to share vocabulary shortcomings and curiosities with. Then he nods. "Okay, well, firstly, it sounds like the Danish court lowkey sucked, if you had to be that concerned about all that kind of thing all the time. Second, yeah, Galahad is the best. I mostly meant that he asks good questions, though." Magnus himself has become so much more of a questions-asker since he and Galahad have become friends. "The eye contact is great too, though. Really makes a guy feel heard."

[wickedwit]

"You're naming all the things I love best about him. You'll compose an incredible toast someday," Claudius says, and all these wedding thoughts do warm him. "Metonymy is when something associated with a concept is used to refer that concept as a whole . When I say I represented the crown of Denmark abroad, for example, I mean I represented the royal family and their interests. Crowns are really only used for coronations and ceremonial events, anyway, and have no interests to speak of. But the association's strong enough that one can stand for the other -- an ornate piece of headwear for the power the ceremony grants." That said, Claudius would've liked to have worn the crown at least once. "Galahad's eyes are one of the things I love about him. They're so beautifully clear. But I might be speaking of his eye as an artist, and mean what he focuses on in his sketches, the devoted care in each pencil stroke that show how long and how patiently he looked at his subject and recreated the most precious details. Or, in this instance, I speak of his eyes that never look away, and I mean the way he focuses on people and makes them feel heard. There are so many things he does." And Claudius is absurdly in love with him.

[summerdude]

"Man, you are down bad," says Magnus, in tones of deepest approval. "I think that being in love can be a salve, too, in a way. You know? Like, the bad doesn't seem as bad, and also, there's someone to call you on your stuff when you're in the thick of it."

[wickedwit]

"It's a new experience for me, being openly in love. Perhaps it's because my origins are in tragedy, but I'm used to fraught silences, hidden sacrifices, feelings that were never spoken. I intended to lie to Gertrude for the rest of my life about killing my brother for her ... but there was never a moment where she didn't know. That's tragic irony for you." Perhaps this Shakespeare has earned his widespread fame, if he can construct tragic circumstances so neatly. Thoughtfully, Claudius asks, "What does 'down bad' mean?"

[summerdude]

"Like, extremely into someone," Magnus says. "You'll put it all on the line for them. You're horny for them in interesting ways, like for example rhapsodizing about their eyes for a million years. I'm down bad for Alex, obviously." He tilts his head, regarding Claudius. "I'm glad you can live openly now."

[wickedwit]

The word is a much-welcomed addition to Claudius's vocabulary. He can already think of multiple ways to use it in his sentence, multiple people in his acquaintance who have it down bad for each other. But before he can test it out, the rest of Magnus's words catch up with him. "Magnus," he says with a sincere smile. "I'm rather touched you said that. I'm glad of it, too, of course, but ...you've helped me realize how glad. Living openly wasn't among even my highest ambitions. It's a rare gift."

[summerdude]

"Really?" Magnus considers this, head tilted, and then nods. "I get it. My biggest ambition for the longest time was just to survive. You too, right?"

[wickedwit]

Claudius nearly laughs, nearly disagrees. His ambitions were loftier than survival -- no less than murdering his brother, taking his crown, and sharing it with the woman he'd loved all his life. But then he remembers the whole mad plan began with the fear his brother's jealous rages could take Gertrude's life. He remembers convincing himself that coming between them by any means but murder would hazard Gertrude's soul. It all felt like life or death. Since the first broken bone, when he realized none of the courtiers would condemn the future king, so he lied and said he broke it climbing trees. He couldn't rely on anyone, but he could always lie. "Yes," he says instead. "Me, too."

[summerdude]

"I thought so," Magnus says, with another nod. "It can be hard to even think about living openly when you're just trying to make it, in whatever way you're trying to make it."

[wickedwit]

“You’ve remarkable insight, Magnus Chase.” That’s serious, when Claudius breaks out both first and last names. He thinks he’d trust Magnus’s insight on Lancelot more than anyone, and if Magnus came to change his mind, he’d weigh that opinion more than anyone else’s. No offense to Laertes, of course, but that man’s smitten. “I’m grateful. I look forward to being family.”

[summerdude]

"I try," Magnus says, and grins at Claudius. "If Galahad is like my brother and your best friend is lowkey like my dad except the mythical kind that doesn't suck, but I'm filling the role of Galahad's mom slash dad for ceremonial purposes, what will that make us?"

[wickedwit]

"Two men who've looked at our family trees and decided to do some grafting. Between you and me, I've come to think of Lan Wangji as the ideal brother ... but I'm disinclined to call you nephew."

[summerdude]

"Yeah, that would be weird," Magnus agrees immediately. He grins, though. "Claudius, it's an honor to be bamboo with you."

[wickedwit]

“I’ll toast to that.” Claudius holds up his Jarritos bottle to do so.

[summerdude]

Magnus clinks his bottle against Claudius's and takes a big gulp. "Oh, hey, dude," he says, as he swallows. "You know about bachelor parties, right?"