New Plan, Step One: Provide For My Community [open]

[summerdude]

Magnus needs something to change, so when a Mansion calendar helpfully informs him that it's International Falafel Day back on Earth, he goes to the library for some cookbooks, and then to the kitchen.

He lays out ten different falafel recipes. He gathers the ingredients they list, as best as he can understand them. He has canned chickpeas and fresh chickpeas and dried chickpeas and chickpea flour and box mixes of falafel that say 'just add water!'

Cripes.

"I can do this," he says, peering at the assorted recipes intently for a good ten minutes, and then takes the dried chickpeas over to the sink to rinse and soak.

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

All of a sudden Galahad doesn't want anything so much as to go to Claudius, to find out how he feels about knowing. To make sure he's all right. To know he's safe.

He wants Magnus to understand how much it means.

He is the most important person to me. I don't just want him to be safe, he signs. I want him to be happy. To garden and cook horrible slimy food and read mysteries and play games with his friends. To have real friends. To have sex. With me and with other people who like him, who he likes, and not to be afraid of how someone could take it from him. Aornis does that. But Luo Binghe does that too.

[summerdude]

I know, Magnus signs, fingers flying. I'm holding Luo Binghe accountable. I was really, really clear that if anything else happens, all bets are off. I'm here for eternity too and I can be really persistent. He knows my priorities here are you and Hanguang-jun and Claudius. If Claudius is safe from anything he can do, maybe that's one less thing to worry about. One less thing to hurt his happiness. He pauses, thinking over his conversation with Luo Binghe, and then adds, I'm telling you what Luo Binghe wants. Not Claudius. Claudius doesn't need to think about it. I just told Claudius about the plant. And I'll be there every time you guys are. I can intercede. Luo Binghe promised he'd listen to me. I think he doesn't want any trouble. The stuff he's asking for -- being ignored -- I think he's trying to take away any temptation of feeling an urge to retaliate.

He sighs. "I know that's, like, not heartening," he adds. "But I think it's a sign he's making an effort."

[onthewillowsthere]

I don't care, sharply. He knows Magnus is trying to be fair, but he doesn't want to be fair to Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe has had months to regret what he did to Claudius, to swallow his pride and admit that he's a person who hurts people who are weaker than he is over petty insults. He can't even humble himself now when he needs Claudius' help. Retaliate for what? Galahad wants to ask Magnus. For Claudius' words? When he's already turned Claudius' blood against him and brought him to the brink of death? He should be grateful Claudius doesn't want to retaliate against him. He should be grateful Claudius hasn't turned everyone who lives here against him by telling everyone about him. He should be grateful Claudius cares about Shen Yuan and their community enough to use his clever mind to Luo Binghe's benefit.

Galahad hasn't been angry for a while, and he'd forgotten how it felt, the way his skin feels tight and his pulse throbs in his temples. The last time this happened it made the fire in his blood flare up, a licking flame that coursed hotly through him, but this time there's nothing to burn inside his body. He presses his lips together, flat and thin, and for a few moments he can't say anything else.

Finally he signs, Okay.

[summerdude]

"You're mad."

[onthewillowsthere]

I'm not mad at you.

[summerdude]

"It's okay if you are," Magnus says. "I'm being Middle Ground Guy, even though Claudius is, like, my bamboo. I know it sucks for both of you that I'm listening to Luo Binghe and his, like, feelings or whatever." He leans against Galahad. "I think it's necessary. I want Claudius to not have to be scared. I'm trying to -- fix things." His chin wobbles. Something good should come of all this, he adds.

[onthewillowsthere]

He frowns again. You also don't always have to fix everything. Okay? There is no prophecy here.

[summerdude]

Magnus is quiet for a long, long minute. "What?"

[onthewillowsthere]

If you didn't do anything, Shen Yuan would still come back. It would take longer. But Claudius would make his body grow, and Lan Wangji would make the array. Nina would talk to him. You want to help because we're best friends with him. But you don't have to. If you didn't it would happen without you.

[summerdude]

Magnus blinks.

[onthewillowsthere]

It's okay if it helps. Claudius needs something to do to help. That's why he's better now. But it's okay if it's not you. It doesn't have to be your quest. The curves of his hands swoop.

[summerdude]

It's always my quest.

[onthewillowsthere]

It doesn't have to be.

[summerdude]

Magnus's fingers feel thick and heavy. I don't understand.

[onthewillowsthere]

We can all work on this. You can stop. Shen Yuan will still come back.

[summerdude]

Magnus shakes his head -- not denying, just trying to process. "But I always--" he says, and stops when his voice breaks.

[onthewillowsthere]

It's okay. You don't have to.

[summerdude]

I should, Magnus starts, and then frowns and shakes his head. I always -- even when there isn't a prophecy. It's what I do. It's--

But on all those other quests, too, he had people. It was all on him, but it wasn't just on him. He turns to Galahad, wrapping his arms around his neck and burying his face in his shoulder.

[onthewillowsthere]

"It's okay." He pets Magnus' hair. Alex needs to cut it again. Magnus is a warm, summery lump against his chest, and what he makes Galahad think of the most right now is himself, the only person with all of God's rules to follow, not allowed to touch or be loved by anyone -- made for one purpose, a weapon, a cup, a useful object. He remembers how many years that was all there was.

"It's okay," he says again, snuggling Magnus in his arms.

[summerdude]

"I forgot," Magnus mumbles against Galahad's shoulder. He feels, weirdly, as if he's going to cry.

[onthewillowsthere]

"It's okay," Galahad says, for a third time, as he holds him close. It is okay. It makes sense if Magnus is overwhelmed.

[summerdude]

It takes Magnus a few minutes to get hold of himself, whereupon he groans, deeply. "Gods," he sighs. "Alex is going to call me such a dummy."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Why?"

[summerdude]

"Because I forgot," Magnus sighs. "And I got worked up about it and I didn't talk to either of you."

[onthewillowsthere]

He blinks. "You didn't tell Alex?"