Perhaps Instead Of A Homeless Teen I Shoulda Been A 19th Century Newsboy, Given All These Headlines

[summerdude]

It's been a big few days in general, and this day, specifically, has also been pretty big, and so Magnus does the number two thing that reliably lets him reach a place where he feels more grounded: he goes to Hanguang-jun's parlor at a time when Hanguang-jun is also there playing music. (Number one, of course, is burying his face against Alex's belly and groaning. Number three, embarrassingly, is still finding a summery spot outside and praying to his dad.)

This time, he has a stack of comic books to go through -- he wants to start making tailored recommendation lists, for Tally and Lancelot (who he's made general recommendations to), but also for Galahad and Sagramore and Sunny and Hanguang-jun and Gideon and Shen Yuan and Gu Xiang and Tress and Nina. So he lays on the ground for a while, paging through issues while Hanguang-jun quietly picks out a tune on his qin and Danding nibbles his hair.

But after about half an hour, he's still got excitement and overstimulation brimming through his veins, so he sets Sensational She-Hulk #39 to one side (it's definitely going on Lancelot's list, probably also Tally's, possibly also Gideon's), twists his head, and waits for a lull in the music. When it comes, he says, "Hanguang-jun? I have... stuff. Not crisisy stuff. Mostly good stuff, and also... some questionsy stuff."

Comments

[lightbearinglord]

It has not, by Lan Wangji's reckoning, been the most difficult talk they have ever had -- but it has not been an easy one, either. He settles Magnus firmly into his arms and doesn't let go of him. He cannot promise not to die, but he can make it clear that he will be here for as long as it is possible. Anything that separates them will be a twist of fate, not of his own choice.

[summerdude]

One day, even Sunny is going to look older than Magnus. Maybe he should talk to Uncle D about that, too -- about the fact that he's stuck looking like this forever, and all the people he loves are going to continue to age and change. Even Alex can choose to look older, if he wants, even though he usually doesn't. It's not anything he can do anything about, but it is a big difference from Valhalla, where the options were (1) live, unchanging, until you die in Ragnarok, (2) die outside the hotel and fade into Ginnungagap, or (3) get so disconnected from the afterlife that you fade within Valhalla itself. Apart from that and the quests, he'd been outside the stream of time. Here he's stuck in it, a rock that can't be dislodged. He doesn't want to think about the people he loves moving past him in a way he can't emulate, to a place he can't follow.

But that's still years away, hopefully. Shen Yuan came back. Even if Luo Binghe has been hurting people Magnus loves, he probably won't murder anyone and prevent them from accessing another one of the plant bodies. Magnus wouldn't force Valhalla on anyone even if he could... and he certainly wouldn't force Volkswagon on Hanguang-jun of all people. He should stop being sad about things that haven't happened yet. Alex can help with that. She usually does. He doesn't need to put this on Hanguang-jun.

"I love you," he mumbles into the hold.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji knows that this is easier for him. He is the one who will not have to live to see Magnus die permanently, a thought so inherently horrifying that his mind wants to shy away from it instantly. He can't say anything that will make it better. When he first came here, he still occasionally thought it might be possible that he would cultivate to immortality one day. He was wrong, and he doesn't regret having been wrong. He would rather have all these earthly attachments, and feel all this love, than live forever.

"I love you," he repeats back to Magnus, heavy with his sincerity.

[summerdude]

"Can I listen to you play music for, like... a while?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Yes," he says, for once needing no pause or hesitation to gather any thoughts. "For as long as you like."

[summerdude]

Magnus unwinds himself from the hug, drags his stack of comics over, and settles as close to Hanguang-jun's side as he can without getting in the way of his instrument or reach. "I'm making you a comics reading list, too," he informs him. "By the way."

[lightbearinglord]

"All right," Lan Wangji says, easily and agreeably enough, as he turns to fetch his qin from where he set it and to balance it back across his lap. "What does that mean?"

[summerdude]

"It means I'm picking the ones of these I think you'll like," Magnus says, proffering Hawkeye volume 4, issue 3, which... to be fair, he doesn't think Hanguang-jun would like very much.

[lightbearinglord]

Politely, Lan Wangji takes it and examines it, but the colors and images are difficult to translate into anything comprehensible. He will read whatever Magnus asks him to read, though, which goes without saying. In the meantime, Magnus asked for music; he hands the slim volume back to him. He needs both of his hands free to play, coaxing low, delicate notes from Wangji's strings.

[summerdude]

Magnus is definitely putting this Hawkeye issue on Dadgramore's list, mostly because of the continued presence of Lucky the Pizza Dog. He sets it aside and picks up the first issue that introduces the Kamala Khan Miss Marvel, but his frenzy has left him and in its wake he's bone tired. He curls up at Hanguang-jun's side, not unlike Drosera or Szarka. Within ten minutes, he's completely dozed off.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji notices when Magnus falls asleep. He neither speaks nor moves, but he notices as that sun-bright qi of his softens, like the end of a summer's day as the light spills like liquid gold over the landscape. He continues to play, the qin's voice soft and gentle, content to sit with Magnus and to partake of the gift of his presence as long as he needs the rest.