I Lose All Sense Of Reason [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus is walking down the front steps of the Mansion, freshly-loaded bag of food in tow, ruminating on a few of his most recent and devastatingly embarrassing conversations, when he hears footsteps behind him.

Well. He did tell Galahad he'd ask everyone. Might as well start now. "Can you explain the birds and the bees -- I mean, sex -- to me?" he demands, even before he sees who it is.

Comments

[new_inglewoodblues]

Ragnelle shakes her head. "Hath your lover a cunt or a prick or both or neither or some other organ?"

[summerdude]

"I haven't asked," Magnus admits, blushing fiercely. "It's none of my business until she decides it's my business. Could be either. Might be both?"

[new_inglewoodblues]

"If she hath a hole, thou canst fuck it, and she hath a rod, she can fuck thee. Dost thou know the mechanism of that?"

[summerdude]

Magnus turns bright red. "Vaguely."

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Then thou art in good stead. Do what she tells thee -- thou shouldst let thy lady have dominion over thee. When she is not thy lady, do what gives thee pleasure both."

[summerdude]

Magnus nods. This makes plenty of sense to him. Obviously Alex would have, like, dominion over him. "Okay," he says. "That sounds... doable."

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Watch the squirrels," with a grin, "an thou shouldst need instruction on what part to put in what hole."

[summerdude]

"Oh, gods, I couldn't possibly," Magnus says, with light horror. "I know way too much of their drama."

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Mary, then some other animal that has such parts as thee and her. Do not ask trees, nor flies, nor wasps, nor bees--" She wrinkles her nose, considering. "Do not ask any little crawling things."

[summerdude]

"Would rabbits be good? I hear rabbits are good at that sort of thing." Surely Magnus can find some rabbits somewhere.

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Ay, hares and rabbits both, masterful beyond the telling. They'll do."

[summerdude]

"Then I'll find some," Magnus says, with a firm nod.

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Mark them well. When the doe wants breeding her cunt will be red and wet. It may be so with Men also, but I've made no study of't."

[summerdude]

"Like," Magnus says, trying earnestly to make the connection. "...A period?"

[new_inglewoodblues]

"What?"

[summerdude]

"M...enstrual cycle? I don't know any other words for it. The time of the month? Monthly, um, bleeding?"

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Courses," she says, laughing. "Nay. It is the opposite."

[summerdude]

"I see," says Magnus, nodding and making a mental note to get someone -- maybe Galahad? Maybe someone else -- to bring him a copy of the What's Happening To My Body? Book For Girls so he can learn more. Or maybe he could brave the library on his own and find a copy.

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Dost thou?" her eyes sparkling.

[summerdude]

"Probably not," he admits. "I'm putting the pieces together though?"

[new_inglewoodblues]

"Remember. Dominion for a lady. The rest shall follow, or not."

[summerdude]

Magnus salutes her. "Thanks, Ragnelle," he says. "I appreciate you."

[new_inglewoodblues]

Ragnelle grins at him, and then she's gone.