I Lose All Sense Of Reason [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus is walking down the front steps of the Mansion, freshly-loaded bag of food in tow, ruminating on a few of his most recent and devastatingly embarrassing conversations, when he hears footsteps behind him.

Well. He did tell Galahad he'd ask everyone. Might as well start now. "Can you explain the birds and the bees -- I mean, sex -- to me?" he demands, even before he sees who it is.

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[summerdude]

They cross the lawn quickly, and the trip through the trees to the clearing is made easier by the encroaching onset of winter. The campfire is at a low smoulder, but it doesn't take Magnus long to coax it up into a steady blaze. "Welcome to mi casa. Can I get you anything?" Magnus asks Sagramore. "I have, uhhhhh, Heidrun mead, pink lemonade, and root beer. And so many snacks."

[sagramore]

Sagramore laughs. "And here I thought I'd provision you. I know Laertes brings you supper -- I have, what do you call it, kibbeh, and a drink I used to have Constantinople in the summer. What makes the mead Heidrun?"

[summerdude]

"Oooh, real food, hell yeah," Magnus says, only barely resisting making grabby hands. "Heidrun mead is brewed from the milk of a magical goat called Heidrun, who eats the leaves of the tree Laeradr. Also magical. It hits like a triple shot of espresso but without the anxiety or the come-down, and it's mostly what the Mansion gives me. Except a few days ago, when it gave me Alfheim mead, but luckily I figured that out before I drank it, and put it back."

[sagramore]

"I obviously need you to tell me about that one, too," as he unpacks the food, along with a few books.

[summerdude]

"It's psychedelic," Magnus explains. "I don't have a good parallel for what it hits like, but it's definitely hallucinogenic."

[sagramore]

"Have you told this to Grantaire yet? I think he'd like the sound of it." He offers the kibbeh and the thermos.

[summerdude]

"Nah, but I will," Magnus says, and takes the kibbeh and drink gratefully. "Thanks, dude."

[sagramore]

"It's only right," cheerfully. "I'm going to talk to you about poetry for much longer than you want. I was up last night reading the Skírnismál." It should be noted that his pronunciation of old Norse words is very good.

[summerdude]

"Oh, gods," Magnus says, choking on a bite of kibbeh, face flaming. "The one about my dad's sex life????"

[sagramore]

"In retrospect, that might have been in bad taste."

[summerdude]

Magnus laughs. "That's why Jack's my sword," he says. "Because Frey gave him up for Gerd, and Jack was like, 'no, I don't want no scrub, a scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me.' And then he was lost in the Charles River for, like, a thousand years until I pulled him out." This is also why Surt will use Jack to kill Frey during Ragnarok, if Magnus doesn't manage to stop it by keeping Jack well away from the Nine Worlds. "This is also now why Jack's motto is 'blades before babes,' I think."

[sagramore]

"That has poetic resonance to it, doesn't it? Were you the one to draw him because you're Frey's son, or was that entirely coincidental?"

[summerdude]

"Oh, yeah, it had to be a child of Frey who was also descended from some specific people in the past," Magnus says. Technically the people in question were Swedish kings, but that seems unimportant to mention^*.


*Okay, I THINK so. I remember vividly reading this but I can't freaking find the passage anymore. So he's not announcing it.

[sagramore]

"It's generous of Jack not to extend his grudges to Frey's children. It would be a more pleasant world if more sons weren't burdened by the sins of their fathers." Is he thinking of Lamorak? He's thinking of Lamorak.

[summerdude]

"Dads," Magnus agrees, rolling his eyes. "Who needs 'em! Beyond the sperm donation, that is." See, he knows some things about sex!

[sagramore]

That gets a laugh. "I wonder how many in our company had miserable fathers. It seems to be a theme."

[summerdude]

"I could tell you so many stories," Magnus says, a genuine offer made with a crooked grin. "It's pretty universal across all the worlds, I think. Really makes Frey being this lifelong absentee deadbeat with ridiculous standards look like a gift."

He's been getting, like, really explicit about the failings of his godly father lately, but it's all part of the plan! Magnus is, as ever, (Sure, I Guess That's A) Plan Guy. Either there will be some loophole in this world, and Magnus will be overheard and yote back to Valhalla or, like, Volkswagen^* for his comeuppance for being overtly rude about (1) a god (2) his dad, and then he can escape to Alex again and just miss everyone here forever and deal with the eventuality of Ragnarok, or absolutely nothing will continue happening and he'll figure out from Hanguang-jun how to send an interdimensional letter and let Alex know that this place is truly outside of the reach of the gods so maybe he and anyone else interested should try and figure out a way back here.


*We're back to this again? Folkvanger.

[sagramore]

"Aye, I think there are a fair few who'd prefer an absent father to the one who was present."

[summerdude]

Magnus, thinking of Loki, nods emphatically. "And that's why I'm known for defeating and/or destroying my friends' dads, back home," he says, and takes an enormous and emphatic bite of kibbeh. It's good. He gives Sagramore a hearty thumbs up.

[sagramore]

Sagramore laughs, and gives him a thumbs up in return. "That's a gesture of approval, I take it."

[summerdude]

Magnus's mouth is still full, so -- thinking of Lan Wangji's admonishment to not talk with his mouth full -- he just nods again.

[sagramore]

"Good, I'm glad. Do you want to address poetry or your carnal education first? Or do you want to try and finish your lunch, I suppose."

[summerdude]

"I can multitask," Magnus says, taking another kibbeh out of the bag. "Educate me first, cuz I'm gonna be chewing?"

[sagramore]

"I thought that might be a reasonable approach." He stretches out his long legs towards the fire. "I assume you've jerked yourself off before, you're old enough."

[summerdude]

Yeah, Magnus knows plenty about that. He shoves a bite of kibbeh in his mouth and nods. Then he thinks of something, swallows, and clarifies, "I know I don't look like it, but I am turning twenty-five next week."