I Lose All Sense Of Reason [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus is walking down the front steps of the Mansion, freshly-loaded bag of food in tow, ruminating on a few of his most recent and devastatingly embarrassing conversations, when he hears footsteps behind him.

Well. He did tell Galahad he'd ask everyone. Might as well start now. "Can you explain the birds and the bees -- I mean, sex -- to me?" he demands, even before he sees who it is.

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[summerdude]

Magnus screws up his face, going for a look of extreme doubt. "Ehhhhh..."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet snorts out a laugh. "It's easier than putting together IKEA furniture."

[summerdude]

"I dunno about that," Magnus jokes. "There's an IKEA in Valhalla. Me and Alex have tons of practice with that."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Buddy, if you can assemble IKEA furniture together, sex is just the cherry on top." Of course there's an IKEA in Valhalla. How stupid.

[summerdude]

"The Valhalla IKEA also carries polearms," Magnus says, solemnly. "But they tend to fall apart with impact. Not very useful in life-or-death situations."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Sure, of course it does." Janet puts her hands on her hips. "Are there still meatballs? Special Valhalla meatballs, I guess?"

[summerdude]

"...you know, I haven't thought to check?" Magnus is frankly a little embarrassed by this!

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Well, shit. Now you have a checklist item if you ever go back."

[summerdude]

"Fat chance of that," Magnus laughs. "Let's just make up an answer and say that, in a twist of stupid fate, they probably don't."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet thinks about this with an affected air of contemplation. "I guess this is a new challenge for the fucked up magic fridges here. IKEA meatballs."

[summerdude]

"Making up for Valhalla's shortcomings by introducing them to everyone here?" Magnus asks. He actually has never had IKEA meatballs before, but that doesn't seem worth mentioning.

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Absolutely." Janet laughs under her breath. "I made Tress try Poptarts once. She's so polite, she didn't even make it obvious how much she hated them."

[summerdude]

"Hate Poptarts?" Magnus is horrified, actually. "What kind did you give her?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Strawberry," Janet says indignantly, like she's offended by the idea of giving Tress anything else. "Duh. She didn't like the Froot Loops, either."

[summerdude]

"That's so weird," Magnus breathes. "Like, all respect and everything. But whoa."

[sorrowandsorrow]

Janet laughs a little under her breath. "I think her world doesn't really have those flavors. The only thing she liked was the everything bagel."

[summerdude]

"Those are pretty good," Magnus allows. "I've been on a one-man quest to introduce as many people as possible to falafel and root beer. And chocolate. What else would you throw into a Good Food Crash Course?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Chocolate! Christ. I didn't even think about all the people here who wouldn't have had chocolate." Janet thinks for a second. "I'm more of a booze girl, but Italian food, right?"

[summerdude]

"Oh, gods yeah," says Magnus. "Italian. A classic. And Mexican?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Please," Janet says with feeling. "Goes without saying. I'm from Southern California. Shit, I could go for a margarita, actually."

[summerdude]

"I've never had a margarita," Magnus says, thoughtfully. "Are they any good?"

[sorrowandsorrow]

Right. Because he's been sixteen for multiple years. "Delicious," Janet says, "if you like tequila."

[summerdude]

Magnus shrugs. "I like mead," he says. "As long as it doesn't get weird. And I don't like vodka. That's all I know."

[sorrowandsorrow]

"Vodka is the most boring liquor there is," Janet informs her, "so you're on the right track. Does it count as serving alcohol to a minor if I make you a margarita?"

[summerdude]

"Yes," Magnus tells her, very somberly. "I'm a minor. My twenty-fifth birthday is next week and they ply us with mead every day in Valhalla. But that's, like, just details. You'd be a very bad person if you made me a margarita."