summerdude | If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

"What?" Magnus processes the question and shakes his head. "Nah, now I'm pretty much just out there because I like it better."

Laertes musters a smile. "Then I'm glad for thee. A panic attack is no small thing; I would not wish it on thee, not even for the sake of all thy sound advice."

"You get them too, huh?"

The slightest of nods. "The day when the visitors came ... it went hard with me."

Magnus nods, too. "I met that guy," he says, a little cautiously. "While Alex was taking time for herself to, uh, process, and after I Peace of Frey'd Wei Wuxian's visitor. I, um. Tried to get him lost."

Edited 2024-02-15 02:23 (UTC)

Laertes cannot remember whether Magnus ever told him that Alex was his visitor--but the more he thinks about it, the less sure he is that Magnus was lucky. One thing had to be said for Reynaldo: Laertes was glad to see the back of him. "Thou hadst an eventful day," he says. "And so did he. Sagramore meant to kill him, I think. My thanks for defending me in thine own way."

"I told him my dad was a pretty big deal in Denmark and leaned into the whole, you know." Magnus gestures at himself. "Thing where I look really young. And then I took him past the -- you know the crevasse?" But this isn't about what Magnus did, this is about Laertes. "You panicked?"

"I saw him, and I fled into the woods. I was too far gone for thought; I was a hare pursued by a hound. I ... remember little of what happened, before he found me," says Laertes. "Only being cold, and afraid, and unable to breathe past the top of my chest."

"That'll do it," Magnus says. He scoots over a few inches, so that he's closer to Laertes, and bumps their shoulders together.

Laertes exhales, long and slow. "It was well enough, in the end. I bid him take back to my father that I had no wish to return, for I'd married a Hungarian prince and had no desire to repent it. He seemed pleased enough to carry that message."

"Dude: major upgrade, by the way."

"Major," Laertes agrees. "Hast thou any further advice for how I might best savor my good fortune?"

"Obviously," Magnus says. "Tell him you love him as much as he'll let you."

"That will be no hardship at all."

"Oh, and," Magnus says, remembering his mission to spread the good word to the entire Mansion. "It doesn't hurt to high five him after a particularly good -- well, with me and Alex, it's still just kissing, but I'm given to understand that a solid follow-up high five can improve any, uh, moment of... successful intimacy."

"High five?" Laertes is doubtful that he should be taking advice on intimacy from someone who can't even seem to clip words around it, but he'll suspend his judgment.

"Yeah, like, 'high five, well done, that was great.' High fives denote respect and, like, camaraderie and approval. Not just after sex or whatever, anytime and with anyone."

"How does one do it? Just say 'high five'?"

"Put your hand up like so," Magnus says, demonstrating. "Basically you slap your palms together. The louder, the better. You can say 'high five' to indicate that you want to, uh, initiate the ritual."

"A very solemn ritual," Laertes laughs, and brings his hand up to smack against Magnus's.

"Oh, it's extremely serious business," Magnus laughs. "That was a good one. If you look at my elbow, you can get a bigger smack."

"Like in fencing--following the movement of the whole blade, and not merely its point?"

"Yeah, exactly! You get it."

"Hast taught me much today," says Laertes. A part of him wants to delve deeper into what Magnus has said about himself, but Magnus was very clearly trying to deflect worry, and Laertes decides not to pry. Bracing his hands against the edge of the couch, he leans forward and pulls himself to his feet. "I'll go to research what thou hast told me, and to see what answers the library offers."

"Sure thing, dude," Magnus says, leaning back in his seat. "I'm here if you wanna talk more about any of this."

(no subject)

timebethine - 2024-02-15 23:05 (UTC) - Expand

summerdude - 2024-02-16 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

timebethine - 2024-02-16 02:40 (UTC) - Expand

summerdude - 2024-02-16 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

timebethine - 2024-02-16 04:35 (UTC) - Expand

summerdude - 2024-02-16 04:43 (UTC) - Expand

timebethine - 2024-02-16 04:46 (UTC) - Expand