If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[tallyyoungblood]

"I'm not totally sure it's, like, alive," Tally points out. "Not the way Jack is."

[summerdude]

"All weapons are alive," Jack interjects, swooping in a way suggestive of a swoon. "Like Red Hilt... what a dame!"

"Red Hilt seems inanimate to me," Magnus mouths. He signs it, too, just in case Tally knows sign language -- Jack doesn't have eyes. Or ears, really, for all that he can hear. But he can hear, and Magnus doesn't want him to hear that.

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally can't help it, she has to laugh.

"Sure, sure," she says. "I'll totally set you up with my sword." She winks at Magnus. "But why would bringing him back to your world be bad? Is your world populated by totally pretty swords he's gonna hit on?"

[summerdude]

"Hey Jack," Magnus says, loudly, giving Tally a warning look. "Why don't you go see if Red Hilt is up for a date right now? Really get warmed up for Xin Mo tomorrow."

Jack hovers. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asks, suspiciously.

"Never," Magnus promises.

"...Okay," says Jack. "Great idea, señor! I'll see you later." And he flies off.

Magnus waits until he's fully out of earshot. "He's going to be a key feature in Ragnarok," he says. "That's the final apocalypse. I figure if he's not there, it can't happen."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I've heard of Ragnarok!" Tally says excitedly. "It's part of one of those Rusty religions. But it's totally bogus that you have to keep him here. Being in charge of not ending the world sounds utterly nervous-making."

[summerdude]

"'One of those Rusty religions,'" Magnus repeats. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

[tallyyoungblood]

"You couldn't just leave Jack here and go home yourself?" Tally asks, then winces. "No, that would be utterly unfair to him, wouldn't it."

[summerdude]

Magnus shakes his head. "Also," he explains, "If I can go back, then there's no point in even trying, because it means Surt could come here, take Jack, and go release Fenris Wolf and kill my dad and end the world anyway." He makes an apologetic face. "I know it sucks for a lot of people to be here... I miss a lot of stuff back home, too. People, and the Chase Space, and Fadlan's Falafels, and -- but I have to kind of hope that no one can ever leave. You know?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Maybe. I don't know." Tally feels a weight in the pit of her stomach. Part of her wants to protest that it's only Magnus's world that would end, not hers, but Magnus's world is clearly full of people, and swords or whatever, who are real and don't deserve to die in an apocalypse. "In my world, I was a big part of trying to help the Smokies find a cure for pretty-mindedness. Without me, I don't know who they can test the cure on. Maybe Zane is enough, but I have no idea. I'm not sure they have anyone else who'd want to give themselves up and have their brain changed, and would have the kind of opportunity I did. I don't know if me staying here is dooming my world to being totally brain-dead forever."

[summerdude]

Magnus grimaces. "That's -- that's really rough, Tally. I'm sorry."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Maybe the mansion will hear us and send me home and not you, and it'll be fine," Tally says unconvincingly.

[summerdude]

"Maybe!" Magnus hesitates again. "What will you do if you can't ever go back?" Wait, that sounds like too confrontational a question. He shakes his head. "Are you going to try to get a message back, at least?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"I don't know how. I asked Lan Wangji, and he just said you needed cultivation, and no way I have the patience for that. Plus no one in my world is magic at all, so how would they even get a message? Like, would it just appear as a ping?" She snorts. "Hi, Zane-la, I'm trapped in a bogus Rusty dimension forever, don't wait up!"

[summerdude]

"I mean, it's worth a shot?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"I guess it is," Tally frowns. "But, like, is there anyone who could teach me cultivation besides Lan Wangji? I'd really rather not have him as my teacher."

[summerdude]

"Why wouldn't you want Lan Wangji to teach you? He's the best," Magnus enthuses, but he's considering the question. "Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe and Wei Wuxian can also cultivate, I think. And Gu Xiang has qi, but I don't think she's a cultivator."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I don't think he likes me. Maybe I'll ask Luo Binghe instead. He seems nice."

[summerdude]

"He's fine, but Lan Wangji and Shen Yuan have, like, had students before," says Magnus. "But what if there's a way to do it without cultivation?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"I'd love to do it without learning a skill that you're supposed to start as a littlie."

[summerdude]

"That sounds like a fun sort of purpose," Magnus say. "Figuring out how to, like, phone home." He does ET hands in emphasis

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally does the ET finger back. "Yeah, sure. Totally."

[summerdude]

Magnus tilts his head. "Any chance that, instead of chopping off your hand, you could jury-rig the evil spy bracelet into, like, a backdoor that would let you contact people back home?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"SecUnit-la seemed to think no, but maybe," Tally says uncertainly.

[summerdude]

He slumps. "I guess SecUnit would know about that kind of thing," he says.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah, they've obviously had an operation, too," Tally says. "No brain damage, though, they're so not pretty-minded. Which is great, honestly."