If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[summerdude]

Magnus snorts. "I can see why Claudius was so obsessed with you guys," he says, thoughtfully. "That's really intricate, dude."

[aflashbastard]

Claudius is still obsessed with them but that's another story for another thread. Crowley shrugs. "Isn't all mythology?" He means that in a broader sense, not that it's a false idea, but in the sense of religious mythology.

[summerdude]

"No, I mean it in, like, a 'the rituals are intricate' kind of way," Magnus says.

[aflashbastard]

Crowley considers it. "I guess. Do you know what HR is?"

[summerdude]

"...human resources? Yeah. Valhalla isn't big on that sort of thing."

[aflashbastard]

"It was kind of like that. A human resources department, keeping tabs on you and making sure you didn't make a false move or, you know, have the wrong friends. Lots of paperwork to do." He frowns slightly. "Punishment when you slip up."

[summerdude]

"Okay, that sounds pretty awful. Helgi just makes Hunding do all the cleaning and yells at him a bunch."

[aflashbastard]

"Yeah, Heaven and Hell are awfully bureaucratic. Corporate. But not effective enough to make it work well. Anyway-- that made it tough to talk about anything happening, even friendship." Granted, they've figured some things out but they still have 6000 years of history to slowly untangle.

[summerdude]

"Okay, so the intricate rituals had to be signed in triplicate," Magnus nods. That does sound really awful. "I get it. So you're, like, trying to adapt to a new normal? Being able to actually say things?"

[aflashbastard]

"I suppose so," Crowley muses. He briefly wishes he had a drink in hand for this conversation. "It's tough to know where to start."

[summerdude]

"Well..." Magnus thinks about this for a while. "Is there any kind of stuff you wish he knew for sure about you? Or your feelings?"

[aflashbastard]

Crowley is certain that Aziraphale knows a lot about him and his feelings but he isn't sure if Aziraphale knows how he feels about how Aziraphale feels about those feelings-- It's a bit complex. There's something about Magnus being a demigod that makes Crowley want to open up more about it, but it's also in his nature to just stay closed up.

"There are some things I could clarify," is all he admits.

[summerdude]

Magnus nods, seriously. "You can't just expect someone to be on the same page as you even if you've known them for thousands of years," he says, wisely. About 83% of the problems in his source pantheon have come from just that sort of thinking.

[aflashbastard]

Crowley looks at him curiously. "Sounds like you have experience."

[summerdude]

"Dude, the pagan afterlife I came from is Norse," Magnus says, as if that explains everything.

[aflashbastard]

"Right, of course," Crowley says. "Gods. Eternity's... well, eternity. It's easy to get it all mixed up and tougher to sort it out if you're not on a set timeline."

[summerdude]

"Yeah, especially if you have, like, prophecy BS mucking things up too."

[aflashbastard]

Crowley nods, knowingly. "We had that too. Well, some people consider the Bible prophecy-- but it's not. Not really. There was another book, The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of, er, whatshername."

[summerdude]

"...huh," says Magnus. "Never heard of it."

[aflashbastard]

"Yeah," Crowley waves a hand. "Only Aziraphale had ever heard of it. Completely right in every single prediction, but kind of a boring book."

[summerdude]

"Prophecies are more trouble than anything," Magnus says, confidently.

[aflashbastard]

"Absolutely," Crowley agrees. "Say, have you been taking care of some of the plants in the greenhouse? They keep telling me about you."

[summerdude]

"No, not really, I thought that was, like, Claudius's thing and I didn't want to intrude," Magnus says, and then blinks, impressed. "You can talk to plants? Like Ragnelle?"

[aflashbastard]

"Partially my thing. Kind of." By thing, he means threatening the plants to grow better, otherwise they'll get thrown out of the greenhouse. He still hasn't carried through on any of the threats, though -- but he's absolutely capable of it. "But yeah, they keep talking about how great you are."

[summerdude]

"Whoa. Really?"