I Up My Boyfriend Game With The Help Of My F̶a̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ Bother Figures [closed post]

[summerdude]

Magnus shows up to the kitchen earlier than the agreed-upon time, since he's actually really excited to fold tamales (and learn how to prep the individual components thereof) with a couple of his favorite people. When he gets there, he remembers having to teach Galahad about hand-washing, and thinks about the fact that both Sagramore and Lan Wangji are from old-timey places. When they arrive, they'll find him scrubbing down the countertops, making sure they have a clean workspace.

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[lightbearinglord]

In an effort to be polite, Lan Wangji does not say aloud how little he would enjoy such an experience. He waits silently for Magnus to be finished.

[summerdude]

Magnus looks at Lan Wangji. "How blended does it need to be? Completely?"

[sagramore]

Lan Wangji really is the de facto head chef here, but Sagramore has brought his reading glasses anyway, just in case they were needed, and he pulls them out of his breast pocket and puts them on to check the recipe.

[lightbearinglord]

"Completely," Lan Wangji confirms. Seeing what Sagramore is doing, he fetches his cookbook out of his qiankun pouch and offers it to him. The page for this recipe is marked with that dried peony bookmark he often uses. It would be in his copy of Emma, but that volume has undergone some trials and tribulations recently.

[summerdude]

Magnus turns the blender up for a minute, giving it a good shake to make sure everything gets mixed up. Then he stops it, opens the lid, and grabs a spoon to stir the sauce. "Like this?" he asks, frowning, turning to show it to Sagramore and Lan Wangji. "Or another minute?"

[sagramore]

"It looks smooth to me."

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn. I will also require your expertise regarding the flavor."

[summerdude]

"Sure." Magnus pops the spoon in his mouth. He's not really sure what flavor Lan Wangji is going for - he's used to the sauce being cooked again around the pork, but it does taste great, and fairly familiar, so he gives him two thumbs up. Spoon still in his mouth, he says, "Ish goo."

[sagramore]

"The seal of approval from our guide."

[lightbearinglord]

Given that this entire endeavor began at Magnus' request, the ish goo seal of approval pulls a tiny smile out of Lan Wangji. "That will need to wait for now, until the pork is more thoroughly cooked. Would you like to soak the corn husks?"

[summerdude]

"Yeah, totally!"

As Magnus is filling a basin with water, he's also thinking. Obviously the thing none of them can remember about Aornis is probably important, but there are other risks present at the Mansion, too. He hesitates. Part of him can't shake the feeling that narc behavior is cop behavior, and he shouldn't bring up the whole behanding thing, especially since his toe removal and reattachment worked out*, and he already told Galahad and Tress about Tally's plans. But also, Lan Wangji and Sagramore are adult-shaped adults, and isn't Magnus also a (kid-shaped) adult now, too? So they might have insight.

He's getting ahead of himself. Maybe Tally has gone to one of them for help by now. He switches off the water, dumps the bag of corn husks in, and presses down to submerge them. "Hey so uh, has Tally, like. Talked to either of you guys?"

*Eventually! Spoiler alert!

[sagramore]

Sagramore glances over at him. "Only very briefly at Wanderers Gather. Is she all right?"

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji glances toward Magnus, the remnants of that smile flickering into a frown. "Yes. The details of her world of origin were concerning to me."

[summerdude]

"Oh, good," says Magnus, slumping with evident relief. "So she told you about her evil government oversight bracelet and her plans to get it off her wrist at any cost, even if the only way is to cut her hand off? Good. I said she should talk to more people about options."

[sagramore]

"That... was not something we discussed."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji had been in the process of looking for more poblano peppers, but at that he stops and gives Magnus a look of subdued horror. "Nor did she tell me that."

[summerdude]

"Oh, great," grimly. Honestly, Magnus could have assumed as much, given that Tally had seemed so reluctant about going to talk to Hanguang-jun when he suggested it, but at least now he has plausible deniability in revealing her plans. "I did tell her and Gideon they shouldn't rely on my," he twiddles his fingers, "untested maybe ability to reattach limbs as a backup plan and that surely someone else could help in safer ways. I thought they were going to talk to more people."

[sagramore]

His gaze sweeps to Lan Wangji again. "Even if you can't do something, I'd think Crowley or Aziraphale--?"

[lightbearinglord]

In the externally calm moment of eye contact that they make, it is clear that Lan Wangji and Sagramore feel identically about the general topic of young people removing and attempting to reattach their extremities. "Aziraphale created rabbits out of nothing. Crowley can create drinks the same way. I am certain one of them can remove a bracelet."

[summerdude]

"All I know is Luo Binghe didn't cut the bracelet off, and Nina promised me she'd encourage Tally to think of other less-extreme options and Tress agreed to be reasonable at her when I gave her the heads up that this was, you know. A thing."

[sagramore]

"No, no, we appreciate you being the voice of reason," Sagramore says, trying not to sound too much like a parent saying now you're not in trouble, we did tell you you could tell us anything. "It just makes me think one of us should chat with her when the tamales are done and make sure she talks to Crowley or Aziraphale."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji can hardly help a second glance of mild horror at Luo Binghe's name. He's aware that Luo Binghe has exceptional power, but the idea of trusting him to help a vulnerable young woman in this situation is deeply alarming, to say the least. "Mn." He manages neutrality of voice for the sake of Sagramore's presence. "No one need cut off any hands." Unless it's him, and those hands belong to someone who is using them to hurt someone else.

[summerdude]

Phew. Okay. Magnus has been fairly self-sufficient and able to navigate his own life for over ten years now, largely by dint of necessity. When he had to stop Loki from setting sail on Naglfar, Percy had pointed out that he should purposefully make use of his community, since everyone has different strengths. He likes to think he's actually pretty good at managing the sometimes-destructive whims of teenagers, especially with the years he's put into the Chase Space, but also, depending on a kid's specific needs, sometimes he'd tag in Alex or Hearth or Blitz instead and let them handle it.

This is kind of like that. He likes to think that he has responsibility -- he has, after all, saved the world a bunch -- but he'd be the first to admit he doesn't really project authority, especially in the way an adult-shaped adult would. And it sounds like Sagramore and Lan Wangji will be really good helps with, like, ensuring nobody cuts off a limb. (Toes don't count as limbs. Magnus stands by that choice. Anyway, he reattached it just fine, so.)

"Okay, good," he says, with evident relief.

[sagramore]

"Agreed, no cutting off hands. We don't need another Bedivere." He grins at Magnus, reassuringly. "Good field report, Sir Magnus."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji is almost tempted to slip in some dry quip about the removal of limbs, but he is less certain of the reaction than he would be with Crowley and Claudius¹, so he only gives Magnus a firmly reassuring squeeze of the shoulder. "Do you know how to make the masa?" He suspects they will all be happier if they remain on-task.

¹The sacred bonds of a burn book ritual are unbreakable. Probably.