I Lived, Grinch! [open post]

[summerdude]

The first thing Magnus does -- with Alex's help -- after fully healing is board up the hole in the side of the greenhouse where the cheetah ran through. The second thing, once he learns the full scope of Dark (it's different at camp; he'd already taken out a ton of camp-appropriate food for when Galahad and Laertes couldn't make it out there, and so he and Alex have been fine on the eating front) is go to the greenhouse again to figure out what plants in there yield edible produce. (Also, he tries to scrub his blood off the table. It... partially works?)

Partly it's that he's still feeling weird after the whole affair. The season doesn't help, but he does feel closer to his own mortality than pretty much any point since he died for real the first time. Being around growing plants helps that. Mostly, though, it's because he doesn't want anyone to get, like, scurvy living on bushels of rice alone.

He doesn't want to overtax any of the plants, but some can be cajoled into fruiting. Right now, he's got his hand on a kumquat tree, and he's trying to convince it that it can speed up the growth process by a few weeks. Drosera is with him, 'helping:' she's found a dead leaf, and she's chasing it down the pathway between some plants. If anyone shows up -- either because they've heard of his near-death experience and want to check in on him, or just to hang out, or even because they're drawn by the way it looks like sunlight is coming from the greenhouse itself -- he'll be glad for the company.

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[summerdude]

Magnus lets himself be quiet. The fear is crowding in on him again, but it's not hitting him like he was worried it would -- he knows he's alright, like this. Hanguang-jun is different from Alex and Galahad, but the effect of being around him is the same. It's not that it feels like nothing can get to him here, it's that he knows that if something tries, he has someone powerful in his corner who loves him. He lets his eyes drift shut and clings.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji knows that Magnus is strong, quick of mind and body, and capable. He has witnessed that, and felt it for himself in the force with which they can embrace one another. If the universe here ordered itself as it should, as he is accustomed to it doing, he could rest easily with full faith in him. Here, though, there are unidentifiable shadows in the night, a tempestuous emperor who could poison the blood of half the mansion with a well-placed drop of his own if he willed it, ill-intended swords that strike with no master in sight.

Magnus says that Lan Wangji's protection is worth a lot. Lan Wangji is not so certain, but he holds Magnus, and doesn't falter, and waits patiently for him to feel able to face the world outside of Lan Wangji's arms.

[summerdude]

"Thanks," Magnus mumbles, after a good while. He's starting to feel mildly normal again. He hasn't done this in a while -- hugged an adult-shaped adult until the world felt better. It's probably been since he was fourteen, honestly. It feels... weird. Good-weird.

[lightbearinglord]

Thanking him for this seems utterly frivolous, but Lan Wangji will not object. He draws back enough to see Magnus' face, studying it. "You're welcome."

[summerdude]

Magnus's face is a little rumpled, and his eyes are shining. "I haven't been held like that since, like. My mom."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji's own face softens in answer to that, a quiet little sadness and a sudden cognizance of how raw this admission might feel for Magnus. He has no interest in trying to replace Magnus' mother. He thinks he himself might bite anyone who tried the same for him. But he is here, and she is not. He reaches to tuck a disheveled lock of hair away from Magnus' forehead. "I am glad to care for you in her stead."

[summerdude]

"Me, too," says Magnus, which is when he starts sniffling (manly sniffling. Totally normal and manly sniffling. He's fine) in earnest.

[lightbearinglord]

Overpoweringly fond, feeling almost weakened by it, Lan Wangji shifts that hand and uses the draping edge of his sleeve to gently dab at the gathering tears at the corners of Magnus' eyes. He doesn't say anything else.

[summerdude]

"I don't know why I'm acting like this," Magnus says, still sniffly, after a moment. "I'm fine."

[lightbearinglord]

"Magnus," Lan Wangji says, as gentle as he knows how to sound. "You nearly died."

[summerdude]

Magnus shudders. "Oh yeah," he says. "I guess that does hit different these days."

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Quietly attentive, Lan Wangji dries Magnus' eyes for him again. This is another little thing that he can do for him in the absence of his mother, who would certainly do the same.

[summerdude]

"It's weird, you know? I know this place, like, changes people, but I didn't think that I'd change like this."

[lightbearinglord]

"Like what?" With that task finished, Lan Wangji only looks at Magnus, that softness lingering in his expression. He cups the side of his face in one hand before settling it at Magnus' shoulder.

[summerdude]

"So concerned with mortality, I guess," Magnus says, with a damp little half-laugh.

[lightbearinglord]

"This is not Valhalla." That may be obvious, but it seems as good an explanation as any. It is not the Cloud Recesses, either. They have both changed.

[summerdude]

"No," Magnus agrees. "It's more than that, though."

[lightbearinglord]

"What else is it?"

[summerdude]

Magnus hesitates for a moment, then says, "There are a lot of mortals here."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji, who is mortal, looks fleetingly down at himself. "There are," he says, careful about it.

[summerdude]

"I guess I had as many mortal friends back home as I do here," Magnus says. Hearth and Blitz, unless they're killed, will definitely live longer than Sam and Amir, but they won't live until Ragnarok, like Magnus and Alex and all their einherjar friends. "But, like, a lot more immortal ones. So the proportions are off."

[lightbearinglord]

The full brunt of what Magnus is saying takes little time to hit Lan Wangji. He's silent, because he can't think of what to say. Nothing will change that Magnus will, as long as he continues to avoid falling swords, almost certainly outlive him. Nothing will change that Magnus will certainly outlive Galahad. He frowns, helpless, and only nods.

[summerdude]

"And like, also, I get that it sucks for everyone but especially me that I almost died, but I can't stop thinking about how, like, no one else would have survived that. Unless I was still there, right next to them, and totally unhurt enough that I could start healing immediately. And even that wouldn't be a sure thing."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji could point out that there are others here who might have survived such a blow, but it would be useless. He understands what Magnus means. "It is unsettling," he agrees quietly, in a significant understatement.

[summerdude]

"Sometimes in Valhalla when einherjar can't hack the whole eternity thing, they fade out."