You Say Overkill, I Say Due Diligence [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus copies the sign onto seven different pieces of paper. It reads:

WANT TO LEARN NEW SKILLS? ME FREAKING TOO. I (Magnus Chase) Will Trade Lessons In Any Of The Following For Something You Know:

• ASL (Alf/American Sign Language)


• Camping (pitching tents, campfire safety, celestial navigation)


• What To Do If You Find Yourself Lost In The World Tree Yggdrasil


• Pickpocketing (But only if you promise to use it for good (stealing ONLY from dickhead rich people) and ONLY if you have to!)


• Swordfighting for Beginners (I am intermediate but Jack is advanced and he can help!)


• What It REALLY Feels Like To Die (NOT ADVICE!!!)


• (Trans)Gender Identity and Fluidity (from the perspective of a cis guy) (Alex-approved content only)


• What To Do If The God You're Talking To Is Super Obnoxious Particular


• Why Falafel is the Best Food in the World

All skills welcome! But if you know any of the following I am especially interested: Cooking, Geometry, How To Declare Your Love To Your Partner, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Balancing a Budget, Writing Poetry, Social Studies, Codebreaking.

(Sorry but I will not learn pottery from anyone but ♥Alex Fierro♥. I hope you understand.)

PS if there's enough interest we can maybe do full classes where everybody gets to take turns teaching and learning?

He adds a note about the areas where he can most frequently be found and then posts one sign in each of the two kitchens he's encountered, one by the welcome table, one on the door to the greenhouses, one in the library, one on his bedroom door, and one by what he believes to be the most-populated lounge. Then, with a great deal of eager anticipation, he goes about his day.


[A note from Magnus's typist: Open indefinitely!]

Comments

[summerdude]

"Internal collapse?" Magnus guesses. Psychological warfare isn't a strong suit of Valhalla -- which is perhaps why Loki regularly has minor triumphs that Magnus has to circumvent. "Were there enough rebels that your guys weren't recognized as outsiders?"

[agula]

She nods. "It worked. The rebel soldiers—really just farmers—were spooked by the 'evidence' that the heavens supported the female Emperor, and at the same time, they lost their leadership." A large part of this success was that no one would suspect someone of falsifying a sign from the heavens, because doing so would be inviting divine wrath onto oneself. That is why only Qi Yan, who has no attachment to the religion of the Wei people, could think of it. "They were adrift and uneasy, and looking for a way to back out without punishment. That is when we offered amnesty. Her Majesty wrote a letter granting a full pardon to the bearer, with her seal, and we distributed hundreds of copies throughout the city. That takes care of the second aim, to return the rebels smoothly to society. And as for the third aim—to reassert authority—the amnesty had a time limit. If the rebels took the letter and returned home, their crimes were pardoned, but if any still remained after one month, the Emperor would send a huge army to crush them and punish their families. Of course, we never had the resources to send the army." She smiles, and goes in for another bite of falafel with tahini.

"There was just one other part to this plan, which I implemented without consulting with the Emperor. I gave orders that anyone carrying the amnesty letter was entitled to a nourishing meal of pork, mantous and vegetable soup. Over the meal, I spoke with them to determine the true cause of the rebellion. The flooding was bad, but the kingdom went to great lengths to send money for disaster relief—that is exactly why we couldn't finance a war. It turned out that the officials distributing the disaster relief were corrupt. They made the rationed porridge too thin, more water than grain, and the rice that was distributed directly to the families was mixed thoroughly with sand. We punished these officials harshly, distributed more relief funds, and hired the reformed rebels to rebuild the homes lost in the floods.

"So, that is how we took back a walled city, without throwing away resources on a prolonged siege." She pauses, suddenly aware that she has been lecturing excessively. This is something Nangong Jingnu would make fun of, if she were here; Qi Yan's heart aches fiercely. "Does that help?"

[summerdude]

"I really appreciate the lesson," Magnus says, thoughtfully. He gets up and goes to the fridge, pulling out a few bottles of root beer. "I like learning, as it turns out? And I bet even Loki would have trouble circumventing the clever way you accomplished your goals. But I'm afraid that Ragnarok won't benefit from that kind of, um, maneuvering." He thinks about this for a moment. "Perhaps it doesn't need to. I think maybe learning as much as I can about as many things as I can is help enough. It's fun, after all, and enriching maybe? And if all my afterlife is spent preparing for the end of it, then literally what's the point of anything? Do you want to try root beer? It's a soft drink of my people. It doesn't really go with falafel, but it reminds me of home, too."

[agula]

Qi Yan can appreciate the significance of food from one's home. "I'd love to try it." She reaches for one of the bottles.

"These lessons can be applied outside of warfare. Most importantly, if you wish to change someone's behavior, it helps to find out what they want and give it to them, while at the same time making the path you don't want them to follow as undesirable as possible." She is self-conscious, again, about being too didactic. "It's good that you like learning. I enjoyed hearing your thoughts. You have very good insight." She wishes he didn't have to think about combat at all; she thinks of Jinwushu, raised to fight a war Qi Yan would like to end.

[summerdude]

Magnus scrubs a hand through his hair, awkwardly. "Thanks," he says, suddenly bashful. Qi Yan is so cool? And thinks he has good insight? "If I'm lucky, I've got at least another couple thousand years in me. It's good I don't have to spend them unlearning bad insights."

[agula]

Qi Yan contemplates this. "Have you considered writing a pamphlet on your situation for the welcome table? It seems complex." She learned a lot from the literature on cultivation and spores.

[summerdude]

"I put up a warning note about Jack," Magnus says. "What else were you thinking about?"

[agula]

"You say that you died, and that you train for a climactic battle thousands of years in the future. I must seek your forgiveness—I am not quick-witted enough to follow your meaning."

[summerdude]

"Oh!" Magnus says. "Yeah, I see what you mean." He's still not used to explaining it to people. "Uh, basically, the long and short of it is if you die a heroic death in my world, you have a 50/50 shot of being sent to Valhalla, which is Odin's halls of the victorious dead. Where you train to be one of the warriors in Ragnarok. Um, most of Ragnarok is foretold. Who dies, how they die... but we still have to give it our all." He grins at her, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Mostly my objective is pushing it back. I like the world. I don't want it to end."

[agula]

This sounds like mythology, although not that of Wei or Jing. Heroes who die in battle attaining rewards in the afterlife must be the most common myth for any kingdom to tell, for obvious reasons. But what kind of reward is this?

Talking so much has tired Qi Yan a little, and put some strain on her fragile lungs. She starts to speak, and then stops to cough discreetly into her sleeve before continuing. "If you die heroically in battle, shouldn't you be allowed to rest? Not told to fight and die again?"

[summerdude]

"That's not the Viking way, I guess," Magnus says, but he's more attentive to her cough than anything. (He doesn't encounter a lot of sick people anymore, now that most of his friends are einherjar.) "Are you okay? Can I get you some water or something?"

[agula]

Qi Yan sighs; she doesn't like the thought of children drafted into someone else's war. She knows what her father would have wanted from her, and she's tried her best with it, but it has to end with her. Her father wouldn't have wanted the next generation of the Chengli tribe to live like Qi Yan. She tried to explain as much to Jinwushu, but he's very young, and she had to leave him under the care of Bayin, who feels differently.

"I'm fine. It's an old illness that recurs occasionally. It's not serious."

[summerdude]

"Do you have medicine for it? Is there anything that helps?" Magnus asks. He can't do much for illness -- only injury -- but maybe he can help Qi Yan keep an eye out. Maybe Shen Qingqiu has found some medicinal plants in his investigations.

[agula]

She nods, touched at his concern. "There are herbs that help, but I don't know which—I'm not the most diligent patient. I simply take what is prescribed. But Lan Wangji gave me some medicine from his lands to help. Otherwise, cold and damp aggravate it, and dry heat is beneficial." She refrains from mentioning that she's already running low on Lan Wangji's herbs, and the fact that autumn is in the air bodes poorly. If she's meant to die here, there's no point in causing Magnus distress over it. She's already snatched her life from the king of hell a number of times; it's only right he should claim it eventually. She would just rather give it to Nangong Jingnu.

[summerdude]

"Oh, well, I can help with that," Magnus says, and summons summer. The kitchen grows brighter and warmer, and a faint scent of grass drying in the sunshine fills the air.

[agula]

Qi Yan is stunned, and then she is thrilled. The idea of supernatural powers still rests uneasily in her thoughts, but this display is so gentle and pleasant. It seems no more than an extension of Magnus' natural atmosphere. But the rise of temperature eases her breathing, and some tightness in her chest relaxes. She hadn't even noticed those symptoms.

"It does help." She gives him a genuine smile. Nangong Jingnu worries ceaselessly about Qi Yan's health, she would be happy to see—no. Qi Yan reminds herself forcefully that Nangong Jingnu asked not to see her again.

[summerdude]

"Oh good," Magnus enthuses. "I've never been able to help an illness before! I can heal any injury, but chronic things... that's not my wheelhouse."

[agula]

"You can heal any injury?" It's almost impossible to imagine the value of such a skill on the battlefield. It's hard for Qi Yan not to think of everyone she's loved who has died through violence. If worlds exist where fatal injuries can be swiftly healed, it seems a bitter fate that hers is not one.

"It is an injury, in a way, although likely beyond your reach by now. I nearly died as a child, and the imperial doctors tell me my body has never fully recovered." She is thinking of Xiao-Die when she says, "What about injuries of the mind?"

[summerdude]

"Um, kind of?" Magnus says. "My friend Samirah -- she's my valkyrie. Um, they're the flying women warriors who select einherjar for Valhalla, basically. And her dad did a really messed up thing and tried to sell her in marriage to a giant? Even though she's betrothed to her childhood sweetheart? And he sent an invitation to her grandparents' house, which was so effed up because they arranged her marriage to Amir, and then Amir and his dad found out, and it was a whole big mess. So Sam tried to convince Amir that this wasn't her choice and that she'd find a way out of it by showing him Asgard."

He shrugs. "Apparently mortal minds have a really hard time comprehending, like, the details? The Bifrost Bridge, the gods, everything. But Sam took Amir to the place where the Bifrost Bridge -- it's like, this giant burning rainbow bridge between worlds -- tends to anchor in Midgard, so that he could summon it, but he was freaking out and, like, Sam wasn't allowed to touch Amir yet, given their relationship and their religion, so I grabbed his shoulder to talk him through everything, and, well." He shrugs. "Alex told me later that she thought I kept his mind from breaking, with that. That otherwise he would have gone insane. I think he's probably right. But I don't know if I could do the same thing with a mind that wasn't actively struggling in the moment."

[agula]

Magnus' world is so alien to her that she can hardly picture anything he's saying, even the parts she can understand. But in other ways, it's all too familiar. Women forced into marriages, children forced into combat... And there are many things in the mundane, mortal world that can break someone's mind just to see. Although what happened to Xiao-Die was years ago, there are still times when she is actively struggling. If Qi Yan could have one companion here from her home, it would be Nangong Jingnu, but if there was a chance Magnus could actually help, she would easily trade Jingnu for Xiao-Die.

But there's no point in saying any of this. Xiao-Die isn't here, and if she were, there's no guarantee Magnus could soothe her, so what would be gained by mentioning that Qi Yan knows someone far away who could use care? She puts aside her dark thoughts and smiles mildly at Magnus. "It is an incredible skill. I cannot imagine how much your friends and military brethren must value it, although your kind nature alone is already value enough."

[summerdude]

"Aw, thanks," Magnus says, embarrassed. "I'm kinda the peace dude in the war hotel, though. My skills aren't really valued by anyone but my hallmates."

[agula]

Qi Yan nods. "It was like that for my mother. She was not a warrior, and everyone would have preferred my father take a fiercer wife, but she was much beloved by those her knew her." It is a rare opportunity, to be able to talk about her parents without fear. She thought, when she first spoke of these things with Nangong Jingnu, that it would be unbearably difficult to drag out memories from her childhood that have been buried for decades. But it's strangely easy, as if these matters were closer to the surface than she thought. "How do you find it here?"

[summerdude]

"It's really... it's really different here," Magnus says, with a little laugh. "I think I'm still getting my sea legs, so to speak. I really miss Alex, and my friends, but I also kinda feel like since everyone here is so different, fitting in is also different?" He shrugs. "What about you, Qi Yan?"

[agula]

It startles her that he addresses her by name, rather than title—or a polite indirect address, since she didn't give her title. But she finds it endearing. "How could this humble scholar, whose needs are so few, find anything to complain about here? Do you want to know something I haven't told anyone?" She gives him a mischievous little smile. She can share this lightly, as long as she doesn't go into the details, and she likes the idea of him knowing there is more to her than her outward demeanor. "I was on the point of being executed, when I came. I'm a criminal outlaw. Since this mansion is a great deal more comfortable than imperial prison, it's hard to find any faults."

[summerdude]

At this, Magnus gapes. "Whoa," he says, dumbfounded. "Yeah, I can -- I can see how this would be better than execution, for sure."