You Say Overkill, I Say Due Diligence [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus copies the sign onto seven different pieces of paper. It reads:

WANT TO LEARN NEW SKILLS? ME FREAKING TOO. I (Magnus Chase) Will Trade Lessons In Any Of The Following For Something You Know:

• ASL (Alf/American Sign Language)


• Camping (pitching tents, campfire safety, celestial navigation)


• What To Do If You Find Yourself Lost In The World Tree Yggdrasil


• Pickpocketing (But only if you promise to use it for good (stealing ONLY from dickhead rich people) and ONLY if you have to!)


• Swordfighting for Beginners (I am intermediate but Jack is advanced and he can help!)


• What It REALLY Feels Like To Die (NOT ADVICE!!!)


• (Trans)Gender Identity and Fluidity (from the perspective of a cis guy) (Alex-approved content only)


• What To Do If The God You're Talking To Is Super Obnoxious Particular


• Why Falafel is the Best Food in the World

All skills welcome! But if you know any of the following I am especially interested: Cooking, Geometry, How To Declare Your Love To Your Partner, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Balancing a Budget, Writing Poetry, Social Studies, Codebreaking.

(Sorry but I will not learn pottery from anyone but ♥Alex Fierro♥. I hope you understand.)

PS if there's enough interest we can maybe do full classes where everybody gets to take turns teaching and learning?

He adds a note about the areas where he can most frequently be found and then posts one sign in each of the two kitchens he's encountered, one by the welcome table, one on the door to the greenhouses, one in the library, one on his bedroom door, and one by what he believes to be the most-populated lounge. Then, with a great deal of eager anticipation, he goes about his day.


[A note from Magnus's typist: Open indefinitely!]

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad is quiet again, for a very long time. Then: "I need to try wanting things, without-- without being afraid. I should learn how to ask. Everyone else can."

[summerdude]

"I think a lot of people struggle with it, actually," Magnus says, contemplatively. "I know I do." He gets that it's different for Galahad than it is for him, though, so he adds, "But like, in pretty different ways."

[onthewillowsthere]

A considering pause. "What do you want?"

[summerdude]

"There's the impossible stuff," Magnus says. "Like, when we were in Niflheim to defeat Loki, and someone opened the door to Helheim -- um, that's where most of the dead go -- and I thought I heard my mom's voice, and then later I learned that it's prophesied that I'll be able to talk to her again. I want to know when, and how, and if it can be soon." He picks a few blades of grass and sprinkles them over his lap, distractedly. "And then there's the hard stuff. Like, for example, with Alex, I want --" here he blushes, bright warm. "A lot of things. We've talked about some of them, which was really hard by the way, but there's some I haven't mentioned, because I'm scared. Like maybe they're too much, or things Alex won't want, or will think are weird. Not just, um, sex stuff. Life stuff too."

[onthewillowsthere]

He feels a pang, both at the emotion in Magnus' words (it's a new feeling for him, but he wants to help, not just to know how to say the right thing but to be able to tangibly help) and at how much they align with the things he wants too, the things he can't say either.

[summerdude]

"We've kind of committed to living in the moment," Magnus says, partly to Galahad and partly to himself. "Which is good, I was actually really bad at that. I'm a little better now, but it's a lot easier for Alex than it is for me. I like to know... that there's a plan, or a way to come up with a plan, or what things mean. Alex is a lot more flexible. Changeable, if you will." This is a joke about Alex being a shapeshifter. "A lot of the stuff I'm scared to ask about is stuff that's about -- definitions, or plans for the future. What things mean."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods and squeezes his hand. All of those are things he would be afraid to ask too, if he and Claudius were even within the realm where they could be asked.

[summerdude]

Magnus squeezes back. "Can I ask you a question?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes."

[summerdude]

"Are you more, um. Afraid of the sin, or of the choice? Or are they the same thing?"

[onthewillowsthere]

He looks startled, and Magnus gets another space of silence before. Then, "They're not the same, but-- I'm afraid of choosing. Sin is just-- everyone is sinful. The world is. But I-- haven't ever taken something for myself. I have now, here, but nothing like this." When he stops and starts, it's not from uncertainty, just from the difficulty of getting the words out. "It would be-- it would be a sin that I want."

[summerdude]

"So you want to choose something that you find particularly sinful?" Magnus asks. He squeezes Galahad's hand again and then, in a move that he hopes is comforting rather than dreadful, rests his head against Galahad's shoulder.

[onthewillowsthere]

But after a moment's hesitation, he leans back. "More than one thing."

[summerdude]

"And one of them is being painted when you feel beautiful?"

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad picks a blade of grass to focus on. "I have always been an-- an object. A weapon for God to use. To feel beautiful, I would have to--" Quiet. "I want to stop being a thing. But then I know God won't take me up again. It will be-- really over."

[summerdude]

Magnus considers this seriously. He knows that he personally hates being see as a tool by gods, but he supposes he can empathize with how someone might feel differently, especially if they'd held that role for most of their life, instead of just the last two years and then the first few of their death. "I get that that would be really hard," he says. "But would it be so bad?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"It would be-- there has never been anything else."

[summerdude]

Magnus nods. "And if you gave it up, then all you'd have is a lot of choices without any clear direction?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"I would have to decide everything. I would have to find-- a purpose. I-- my reward was to be death, and I would have to live."

[summerdude]

"Dying sucks," Magnus points out, automatically. "Trust me, bro, I've done it a lot of times in a lot of different ways and none of them are fun." Then he winces, and tilts his head, still cuddled against Galahad, so he can see his face better. "Sorry, dude. I get that living is also hard." He doesn't really share that opinion, but he gets how people can have it.

"But like, maybe a purpose doesn't have to be big. Like, I guess I have 'a purpose'" -- here, he does scarequotes in the air with his free hand -- "But you know what I was saying about trying to live in the moment better, instead of just worrying about the future? It's hard, but it's really helpful for not thinking about how my final death is foretold, too, and my entire job is to die fighting so the world can end. I can focus on littler purposes. Like... the Chase Space. That's this big old home I got, a reward for beating Loki, so I can help other homeless kids in Boston. Food, shelter, tutoring, you know. Or helping Jack find a girlfriend blade. Or making Alex laugh. Or teasing Sam and Amir about their betrothal. Or, I guess since I got here, learning more skills and hanging out and talking about the big scary stuff with my best friend so that it feels a little less big and scary."

[onthewillowsthere]

A littler purpose. He thinks about the grain of wheat in his hand at the end of Lan Wangji's meditation lesson. Something small, with possibility in it. If he closes his eyes and sinks down inside himself to the uncut field of wheat, he can imagine that all those stalks are heavy with handfuls of small things that could be something, all those wants and desires he's buried grown up for harvest, all those things he likes -- sketching and baking and arranging flowers, reading frivolous books, learning games and tasting new things -- ready to be turned to sustenance.

He squeezes Magnus' hand again.

[summerdude]

"Yeah, man," Magnus says. "You get it."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Thank you."

[summerdude]

"Anytime, friend."

[onthewillowsthere]

For a while he says nothing else. He's grateful that with Magnus he can be quiet when he needs to be quiet, grateful for the unhurried space Magnus is so good at making. Percival was like that too. They both know when to fill the silence and when to let it gain depth on its own.

Eventually, though, he says, "You said Hearthstone speaks with signs."