If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[summerdude]

Magnus gives Tally an assessing sort of look. "Are you a mind-reader?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"What? No. I don't have magic or anything in my dimension." Where's he going with this?

[summerdude]

"Then why should you have known something Shay didn't tell you?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Oh!" Tally laughs a little. "That was kind of clever. I guess... yeah, I couldn't have known for sure." Tally still feels pretty sure a lot of it is her fault, but Magnus does make a good point. "It doesn't change how terribly it ended, though."

[summerdude]

"You mean how the cops used you to further their own objectives?" At least that sounds like what Tally had described.

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah. And I didn't stop them." Cops is a funny archaic word, but it's definitely appropriate.

[summerdude]

"Because they lied about how the tracker worked, you mean?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Yeah... but I threw it into a fire. It seems sort of obvious in retrospect that might set it off."

[summerdude]

"You wanna hear a proverb of my time?" Magnus asks, and doesn't wait for Tally to confirm. "'Hindsight is 20-20.'"

[tallyyoungblood]

Tally laughs again and wipes away her last few tears. "Okay, I get your point. You're pretty bubbly, Magnus."

[summerdude]

"Anyway, my point is, just because you had one, uh... kind of wild experience doesn't mean all love sucks," Magnus says. "So if you do have a crush on someone that you want to make out with, that's okay. Um, unless it's me or Tress. Even though neither of us is dating someone here we're both spoken for. Separately, obviously. But also neither of us is a butch lesbian, so... probably not, right?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Definitely not," Tally says. "But I like both of you a lot as people. As for my... um... I guess I'll think about it." Maybe Magnus has a point, maybe he doesn't. "If I were to ask someone to date, how do you, like, do that? I've never been the asker."

[summerdude]

"Well, how have you been asked out before? And what worked for you?"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Well, Zane--I went on, like, one date with him before I woke up here--just kind of asked me to breakfast and kissed me, and that was bubbly because I already thought he was the best," Tally remembers. "David... he asked me to do a bunch of stuff with him and then he called me beautiful, even though I was ugly at the time."

[summerdude]

Okay. Magnus isn't going to have a knee-jerk reaction this time; he's had some context now. Thanks, Gideon? "Can you explain that to me, too?" he asks. "'Ugly at the time.'"

[tallyyoungblood]

"Before I had my operation," Tally says carefully. She also has some context for how Rusties respond to the way she talks now, though it's still really hard not to put down her past self. "Generally people I met didn't think I looked good, before, and he did. He also thought I was beautiful... for the way I thought, and acted." But he was wrong about that, she knows.

[summerdude]

Personally, Magnus thinks this is all incredibly weird. But he's getting back in the practice of asking questions he wants to know the answers to. "Do you think everyone here is ugly?" he asks, curiously. "Since none of us have gotten that operation you had."

[tallyyoungblood]

"I mean, scientifically, yes. It's nothing personal, just evolution. There's certain things that human beings are hardwired to look for--big eyes, clear skin, facial symmetry--they're all signs of someone you want to protect and have healthy children with." Tally's eyes linger on Magnus's uneven face, then glance away. "I used to think my world was really fair, because everyone got to have the operation. Total equality. But I also recently learned they kind of lobotomize people at the same time, which is pretty bogus. I thought that the equality of beauty was what prevented war and conflict, but now I think a big part of that was just because most people literally couldn't think straight? Everyone still looks ugly to me, but... maybe that doesn't matter as much here?" Tally sits up suddenly. "Oh, except Luo Binghe. He looks almost pretty."

[summerdude]

"Yeah, Shen Yuan says that he's from, like, an erotica world," Magnus says, and then everything Tally has said hits him and he does a double take. "That's, like, so fucked up actually." Another beat of him processing, and then: "But I guess that does explain why you look like my aunt."

[tallyyoungblood]

"An erotica world? Oh my god. Is that why Gideon's always talking about porn?" Tally's head spins. If the residents here have books written about them, then of course some of them are probably erotic books, just statistically. Is Tally from porn? Surely not, or she would have gotten way higher on the snogging scale by now. Is Gideon??

"That seems way more fucked up than my world, if I'm being utterly honest! But what do you mean, your aunt? She's a natural pretty, or something? They always told us a few Rusties--people in the time before the operation was invented--were born pretty. That's what I thought Luo Binghe's deal was."

[summerdude]

"I have no idea why Gideon would be talking about porn," Magnus says, promptly. "Maybe she just likes it or something, though." He's becoming well-versed in porn himself with increasing rapidity lately. Some of it is pretty good! "And... no. My aunt is the Norse goddess of love and beauty." Magnus pauses. "Um, and war. And magic. And Folkvanger's glorious dead. But mostly love and beauty. So she's, like. Beautiful, obviously."

[tallyyoungblood]

"Oh, um, bubbly!" Tally says, privately thinking, I'm as pretty as a goddess? It sort of makes her feel gorgeous, but it sort of makes her worry. There's a big gulf between a goddess and mortals. She thinks of Gideon's bogus space god, and also Galahad's. "Is she, like, nice?"

[summerdude]

What a complicated question, Tally! "Well, she's a god," Magnus says, like that's a complete explanation to anyone who doesn't know chapter and verse of his opinions about gods.

[tallyyoungblood]

"So no," Tally says, as if Magnus knows her opinions on gods. "Goddess of love, though. No wonder you're such an expert."

[summerdude]

"Please say that to me in front of my girlfriend someday," Magnus says, immediately. "I wanna know if it's possible to laugh so hard you pass out."