If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[sagramore]

"No, I don't know tamales. If I beg Laertes to try his hand at them, will I be usurping Lan Wangji? If he's learning to cook something special for you I don't want to steal any thunder."

[summerdude]

"Oh dude, I'm not gonna gatekeep Mexican food," Magnus says. "I can actually fill and tie tamales like a pro, too, so I can even help Laertes out with that part. I can't make the masa or the filling very well, and I'd probably screw up actually steaming them, but it's like folding dumplings. Give me something to stuff and wrap and I can do it for hours." Something occurs to him, and he grins. "Or maybe we could get Hanguang-jun in on it, too, and start practicing for round-robin potlucks."

[sagramore]

"I actually think this is a brilliant idea. Laertes needs more help and more rest -- perhaps you and I and his lordship can be students together."

[summerdude]

Whoa. Hanging out with two whole adult-shaped adults simultaneously? Magnus is so curious to see how they bounce off each other. Maybe he can kick Laertes under the table about it while they fold tamales. "I'm so in," he says, emphatically, and then, back to a part of the conversation he'd put a pin in, a few minutes ago: "Hey, maybe folding food can be my new thing that I make. That new guy started teaching me cooler ways to mend my clothes than how I did it when I was homeless, but I ran out of holes to fix. And I think I've given up on knitting, for now. Dro is way too interested in the yarn to try to get better at knitting more than, like, accidental loofahs."

[sagramore]

"The new guy is lovely. --listen, folding is important work. I'll talk to Lan Wangji." His eyes sparkle with the pleasure of a New Project.

[summerdude]

"Awesome," Magnus says, contentedly. He nods at Szarka. "Can I hold her?"

[sagramore]

"Certainly." She wriggles gleefully at the opportunity to be held by a new person, licking Magnus' face as she's passed into his arms.

[summerdude]

"Hi, baby girl," Magnus tells her, laughing at the sensation. "I'm your uncle Magnus. If you ever need help communicating with, uh," what does Mothwing call them? "Twolegs like your dads, I can translate for you. Or if you want to talk to any of the cats, bunnies, horses, or griffins around here." He's not actually sure if they can talk to each other or not. "Or squirrels! When you're a little older, I'm gonna teach you all about how the squirrels are off-limits, okay? No eating Uncle Magnus's daily soap opera."

[sagramore]

"She's a herder, not a hunter, fortunately, so I think she'll probably leave the squirrels alone. But if you could tell her not to annoy Mothwing, I'd appreciate it."

[summerdude]

"Hi, sweet Szarka," Magnus says, making eye contact with her. "Do you know what a 'cat' is?"

[sagramore]

She cocks her head in a manner that is, honestly, very reminiscent of the way Sagramore does it. Cat is new to her. So many things are new to her.

[summerdude]

"Cats are the other main kind of pet," Magnus explains. "They have long tails and whiskers and most of them have ears that always stick up. There's one here named Mothwing -- me and her are clanmates, okay? She's really nice, so be sure to be polite to her and not chase her or attack her or anything." Then he remembers Angus. "And there's another one named Angus. He's probably a little more playful, but you should ask first. And if you, uh, don't speak the same language, let me know and I can help you out, okay?"

[sagramore]

Szarka is definitely interested to meet these cats, which are probably another kind of dog?? But Magnus is nice and so she will try to be polite, even though her impulse control is quite bad.

[summerdude]

"I know it is, sweet girl, you're a little baby," Magnus says, soothingly. "Dro's is too. It's just, like, a fact of infancy I guess. Doing your best is all that I ask."

[sagramore]

"What's she saying?" Sagramore asks, openly curious. "Insisting it's her right to chase cats?"

[summerdude]

"She's saying she's excited to meet cats and is concerned that her impulse control isn't very good," Magnus laughs.

[sagramore]

"Well, she fits right into this family, then."

[summerdude]

Magnus laughs. "Hey, Szarka," he says. "Is there anything you want me to tell your dad for you?"

[sagramore]

Szarka yips excitedly -- the thing she wants Sagramore and Laertes to know is that they're her pack, and she's so happy about it.

[summerdude]

Magnus grins up at Sagramore. "She really loves you guys," he tells him.

[sagramore]

"Does she?" breaking into a grin. "Can you tell her we adore her?"

[summerdude]

"Your dads are totally obsessed with you," Magnus tells her. "They love you so much."

[sagramore]

She is so happy -- all she wants, at this point in her life, is to be loved as deeply as she loves her packmates, and this assurance is everything. She squiggles in Sagramore's arms until she can lick his face happily.

[summerdude]

"I'm pretty sure you don't need me to translate that one," Magnus laughs.

[sagramore]

Never has a man been more delighted to have his beard get covered in dog spit. "No, I have the -- ugh," as her tongue goes briefly in his mouth, "--I have the idea--"