If Alex Came Back We'd DEFINITELY Be The Local Power Couple [open post]

[summerdude]

Magnus has come to realize that nobody else in this entire place is presently in a relationship that has lasted nearly as long as his and Alex's. Shen Yuan's concept of "communication" "with" "Luo Binghe" is continuing to horrify him every time he thinks about it. What if there are other people who could use the advice of a sixteen-year-old twenty-five-year-old virgin who has been in a committed relationship for nearly seven years with someone to who he is probably widely known to have never verbally declared the undying depths of his love? (Gods, he hopes Alex figures out a way to do another little visit for their rapidly-approaching anniversary)

To that end, he posts an announcement sign over the welcome table, in the café, and on the door to the kitchen. It reads:

NEED RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OR FEEDBACK? Local Long-Term Relationship Expert Magnus Chase Offers His Aid.

He even lists office hours — an inoffensive parlor (meaning he can tolerate hanging out in it, and the door can close if people want privacy for their conversations) every other day for an hour, immediately following his Drosera hand-off to Galahad.

Comments

[aflashbastard]

Crowley shrugs. "Just swinging by. Checking in. I haven't talked with some of the people here much. I've been a bit, er, occupied." Occupied with acting like an absolute idiot.

[summerdude]

Magnus tilts his head. "...Okay," he says eventually. "Do you need relationship advice?"

[aflashbastard]

Crowley looks at him for a long moment. "Look, since I'm here, I'll take it," is what he says.

[summerdude]

"What kind of advice are you in the market for?"

[aflashbastard]

"Look," Crowley says in hushed tones, as if he's in a spy movie, "I just--" He waves a hand, in a gesture that possibly means I just got into a relationship if you squint at it. "Aziraphale. It's only been a few days. But-- you know¹." He makes another gesture that could technically mean I messed up everything leading up to it so badly that I don't want to mess this up. Sure, let's go with that. "I guess what I'm saying² is... the basics."

¹Does he?
²Which isn't much.

[summerdude]

Oh! Magnus bets Claudius is thrilled about this! He nods solemnly, but inside he's grinning. "Well, have you let him know that he's the bet thing to ever happen to you yet?" That's what he'd done, a few days after Alex first kissed him.

[aflashbastard]

"Er, not-- not exactly in those words," Crowley says¹.

¹Now that we have a better idea of what happened on the date.

[summerdude]

"Okay! What have you told him?"

[aflashbastard]

What has Crowley told Aziraphale? Not much, honestly. Their date had been so piecemeal, with some chaotic flirting and a Ritz roleplay thrown into the mix. Oh, but there was one thing-- "That I waited almost 6000 years for him... but would have waited 6000 more," he says, slightly more subdued than normal.

[summerdude]

"That's a good start," says Magnus, encouragingly. He's only known Alex for seven or eight years but he shares the sentiment.

[aflashbastard]

"I also told him I was jealous of Oscar Wilde. The writer." Crowley grimaces lightly. He still isn't sure if Aziraphale actually had something with him or not and he suspects he'll never know.

[summerdude]

"Who?"

[aflashbastard]

"Exactly," Crowley says, with feeling. "Thank you."

[summerdude]

"No, I mean I've never heard of him."

[aflashbastard]

"Phenomenal," is all he says, clearly pleased. "We can move on now."

[summerdude]

"Let me guess: he was some kind of fuckboy?" Magnus asks, and then shakes his head. "Sorry, sorry moving on! It's good to be honest with a partner and to make sure you're on the same page."

[aflashbastard]

Crowley shrugs. Easy enough. He's misdirected Aziraphale before¹ -- but he's never really lied to him outright for more nefarious purposes. "We're working on it."

¹The theft of Emma comes to mind.

[summerdude]

"Yeah?" Magnus says, tone prompting.

[aflashbastard]

"There wasn't a lot of room to talk about things. Angels and demons are supposed to be enemies."

[summerdude]

"Haven't you been friends for, like, a million years?" Claudius really made it sound like they'd been friends for a million years.

[aflashbastard]

"Six thousand. Ish. Might as well be a million, though. But we never really used that word, not until we came here."

[summerdude]

Oh, right, Aziraphale had mentioned he'd come from some weird uber-christian world or whatever. "Then what did you call it?"

[aflashbastard]

"The Arrangement," Crowley says, a little wryly. It seems so silly now. "Work acquaintances. Coworkers."

[summerdude]

Magnus snorts. "I can see why Claudius was so obsessed with you guys," he says, thoughtfully. "That's really intricate, dude."

[aflashbastard]

Claudius is still obsessed with them but that's another story for another thread. Crowley shrugs. "Isn't all mythology?" He means that in a broader sense, not that it's a false idea, but in the sense of religious mythology.