I Deliberately Misinterpret The Nature Of An Agreement

[summerdude]

Galahad probably didn't expect Magnus to come pounding on his door in the middle of the day when they agreed Magnus would try sleeping on his own, especially since Magnus decided pretty quickly that he wanted to sleep outside again (but on purpose because he prefers it, not because it feels like the only option that doesn't end with the walls closing in on him). But here Magnus is, anyway, in the middle of the day, knocking loud enough that he has to force himself to take a step back so he doesn't break the door down.

"Dude, it's me, I need you," he calls, just so Galahad knows for sure it's him, or whatever. "You're in there, right? Galahad?"

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

"Why not?" curiously.

[summerdude]

"I mean, me and Alex can't have kids and even if we could and wanted to, it's not like we're really the posterchildren for caring about whether kids are born in or out of wedlock," Magnus says, holding up one finger. He holds up another with each point he makes, most of which are derived from things he used to hear his mom talk about, usually when she'd start getting serious with a boyfriend. "There's no legal benefit. We're dead, so we don't need to worry about health insurance or inheritance or anything like that. We don't technically live in Midgard, so there aren't any taxes or anything, and also we don't have an income, so... basically there are no financial reasons. Also I think legally speaking we're too young. You have to be at least eighteen to get a license and technically we're both sixteen forever. And it's not like either of us is particularly religious, so. ...I guess we could have been forced to, per Viking tradition, if Frey and Loki decided it was important to resolve some blood feud, but Frey probably thinks I don't count as a viable offspring for that kind of thing, and even if he did count me, Loki would be a dick about it. Insist on Sam instead, specifically because she has Amir, something like that." He pauses. "And here it's even less important, since there's basically no laws besides 'don't be a dick' and nobody uses money at all."

[onthewillowsthere]

It makes sense that these are all things that don't matter to Magnus; it's just that none of them are why he wants to marry Claudius. He nods, though, since he does understand.

[summerdude]

"Why did you propose to Claudius?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Because it is something he couldn't have before and it matters to him to have it." He draws up his knees and gazes over at Claudius' vanity, with all his creams and serums. "It matters that it's a recognition. It tells people that he's important to me. That he is mine and I'm his. And because it's a sacrament that isn't supposed to be for us, because of who we are. He wants to have what God says we shouldn't. It's important to me because it's important to him."

[summerdude]

Most of that make a ton of sense to Magnus, and he nods. He guesses Claudius is older, and couldn't live openly for most of his life, so of course he'd want something a little more public and permanent. But -- "What do you mean, a sacrament that isn't supposed to be for you?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"The church teaches that marriage is a sacrament, like the taking of communion. It is a rite that brings us closer to God. The matrimonial covenant has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized. The law of the church is clear: it is a sacrament for a man and a woman, and its purpose is the bearing of children. A marriage that cannot be consummated is not a marriage. Antecedent and perpetual impotence to have intercourse nullifies marriage by its very nature." It's possible he's been reading over this doctrine recently. "When we marry, it will not be with God's blessing."

[summerdude]

"No offense," says Magnus, after chewing on this for a while, "but that's pretty effed up." Obviously he knows about how bad homophobia can be, but this is on another level. Also, where he comes from, there's not a single god who can keep it in their pants. Except maybe for Mimir, who is only a head. Anyway, most of them aren't married, so this is all pretty moot.

He doesn't want that to be the only thing he says, but the only other thing he can think is, "Are you going to have sex with him? Like, for real this time. Um, you know what I mean."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I don't know." His fingers tap against his knees in a rapid flutter. "I want to, but-- I'm afraid."

[summerdude]

"Wanna talk about it?"

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad hesitates. He and Magnus talk about everything. They're best friends. But somehow he's sure the person who would really understand is Gideon. Maybe it's the fast, maybe it's the endless winter, maybe it's that Alex is back and Magnus is so happy, but in the end he shakes his head.

[summerdude]

"Okay," says Magnus. He's honestly a little disappointed, actually, but he swallows it down. "Sure." He pauses, and then respects the no and pushes on. "...Is that what you even meant by consummated?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes. That's what I mean. Without consummation, a marriage can be made invalid."

[summerdude]

That's so messed up. Magnus leans against Galahad, and offers, "I think I'm going to not even bring it up at all unless Alex does first."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Sex?"

[summerdude]

"Yeah."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Do you think she'll tell you when she's ready?"

[summerdude]

"Yeah, probably." Alex is intensely private, but still: "We don't really keep, like, secrets, or whatever."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I don't think we do either."

[summerdude]

"That's good." Magnus flashes him a grin, and then sighs. "I'm probably not ready either, actually, so."

[onthewillowsthere]

"For Claudius it's like a language. He talks to people and learns about them when he has sex. He likes learning about people." He rubs the braided band of his watch. "It isn't the same for me."

[summerdude]

"Yeah, that's the impression I got when I asked him about sex," Magnus says. "I guess I feel like I would want it to be really special. Not that getting to know other people isn't, um, special! But..." He trails off. "What's it like for you? Wait, you said you didn't want to talk about it. We can change the subject if you want."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I think I would want it to feel like that too. Precious."

[summerdude]

Magnus sits up straight. "I think that's what I was trying to figure out when I was asking everyone about it," he says. This, similar to post-nut clarity, is post-Alex-return clarity. He'd mostly been freaking out about whether Alex would be able to come back again at all -- he can recognize that now -- but there was a genuine concern underlying it all. "Like, I know about the mechanics. And pretty much everyone was like 'your first time isn't going to be that good,' but I don't accept that. Even if it's not good, I want it to be good, you know?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes," quietly. It can only be the first time once (except for him, perhaps), and it feels important.