Look, It's Been A Really Weird Week [closed post]

[summerdude]

Magnus's day is already pretty thrown off, between surprise Hanguang-jun morning hangs (definitely positive) and coming clean to Alex about training with Lancelot (mostly positive), which led directly to Alex coming along to afternoon training (weird, but ultimately extremely good), so that he can... vet Lancelot??? Have a fun little spar with Magnus???? Tease them both mercilessly??? Anyway, it's fun! It feels kind of like the best part of old times, except Magnus is actually kind of good now that he's had formal training, and even though he knows Alex, like, super well, Alex is always a wildcard with fighting, and it's nice to have things shaken up in training now that Magnus is also getting used to how Lancelot fights.

All this to say that he somehow hasn't seen Galahad yet, even though usually by now he's spent several hours with Galahad. So after dinner, he heads back up to the Mansion with the dual purposes of finding (1) Galahad and (2) art supplies for his next time-sensitive project.

Comments

[onthewillowsthere]

"Me too," Galahad says, because the idea doesn't frighten him -- perhaps later, when he fully considers performing in front of them all, it will, but in this moment it just seems like a pleasant future event. He squeezes back, and walks in silence, contented to say nothing.

[summerdude]

As they draw close to the stable, Magnus finishes his popsicle and shoves the stick in his back pocket to deal with later. Then he says, "So, um," and falls into a nervous-adjacent silence.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad glances down at him, a question implicit in the look.

[summerdude]

Okay, well, as eternal healer of the party and therefore medical expert, Magnus knows that it's best to just rip the band-aid off. "Soooooo remember when my vibes were atrocious and I said I had to talk to Alex about something first?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Yes," immediately. "Are you going to tell me now?"

[summerdude]

Magnus nods. "I told him this afternoon," he says, and then, in the interest of total transparency, adds, "Sunny actually knew first. For, like, practice. Or whatever."

[onthewillowsthere]

It could wound Galahad, to be told third -- but of course Magnus had to tell Alex first. Sunny doesn't wholly count, as much as Magnus loves her. He nods.

[summerdude]

Magnus nods, too. "So, like," he says, then takes a deep breath, winces preemptively, and says, "I'm just gonna say the, like, thesis statement and then you can ask your questions and then I'll do any leftover explaining that your questions didn't cover, okay?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Okay."

[summerdude]

Magnus blurts, "I asked your dad to secretly train me and we've been meeting like every other day for that since basically before Shen Yuan died."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad blinks. "Why didn't you ask Lan Wangji?"

[summerdude]

"I didn't want anyone to be sad that I asked. I knew Lancelot wouldn't."

[onthewillowsthere]

"He's going to be sad you didn't tell him."

[summerdude]

"I know," Magnus sighs. He's been tremendously worried about this! "But, like. Um. That would have made it, like. Real. You know?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Why?" Usually Galahad finds Magnus easy to understand, but right now it's a struggle. After Magnus' near-death experience and Galahad's loss of his powers, something changed, and it became obvious to him that he would have to change also in order to protect Claudius. If it had changed for Magnus too-- it had changed for Magnus, too, surely. It makes sense that he would have had to become a Fighting Guy again. It doesn't make sense that he wouldn't have done it with his best friend and his most dad-shaped adult. They should have all been together. Then Magnus wouldn't have had to be jealous, and they wouldn't have had to miss each other. They could have been getting stronger together all along. He doesn't understand why Magnus would choose anyone else.

All that is so bewildering that Galahad hardly even has room for the itchy, uncomfortable sensation that comes from Magnus calling Lancelot his dad. It feels weird. They can just say Lancelot.

He does squeeze Magnus' hand tighter, though, to let him know that he's not mad.

[summerdude]

Magnus squeezes Galahad's hand back. "If Hanguang-jun was sad about me fighting at all again, even though I'm not Fighting Guy again, I. like. Don't know that I could take it. But after I was attacked... And I was hanging out with Claudius while you were, like, training... I didn't know how to fight without dying," he concludes. "Or killing. I, like. Wanted to be able to step up and not do either. Without feeling bad."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Has Lancelot been a good teacher?" And then, as he realizes, "Is that why you changed your mind about him?"

[summerdude]

Magnus might obfuscate with Lancelot, but he won't with his best friend. "No, I changed my mind earlier. During Enjolras's, like. Thing. And, like. He has. Alex approved this afternoon."

[onthewillowsthere]

"Why?" Curious, not accusative.

[summerdude]

"Why which part?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"Why did you change your mind about him?"

[summerdude]

Magnus looks at Galahad, surprised. "You wanted him to get a second chance here."

[onthewillowsthere]

"You said that wasn't good enough. That you wouldn't be able to forgive him."

[summerdude]

"I guess I'm not, like. Sticking With my Convictions Guy." It's a partial joke, about both Magnus's reconsideration of Lancelot and his reconsideration of fighting, but as he says he realizes he doesn't like the joke at all, and makes a face. "Anyway. I told you before, right? About how after Enjolras's thing I decided I'd, like. Let up on him? Cuz you wanted him to have a second chance, and cuz he read the books I told him he should read. And then he saved my life or whatever. Alex said that didn't necessarily mean I had to be nice to him, but." He shrugs. "Plus he's not on Claudius's shit-list anymore, either. So."

[onthewillowsthere]

"I do want him to have a second chance. I'm glad. I just didn't understand why." He saved my life at least makes things a little clearer.