Perhaps Instead Of A Homeless Teen I Shoulda Been A 19th Century Newsboy, Given All These Headlines

[summerdude]

It's been a big few days in general, and this day, specifically, has also been pretty big, and so Magnus does the number two thing that reliably lets him reach a place where he feels more grounded: he goes to Hanguang-jun's parlor at a time when Hanguang-jun is also there playing music. (Number one, of course, is burying his face against Alex's belly and groaning. Number three, embarrassingly, is still finding a summery spot outside and praying to his dad.)

This time, he has a stack of comic books to go through -- he wants to start making tailored recommendation lists, for Tally and Lancelot (who he's made general recommendations to), but also for Galahad and Sagramore and Sunny and Hanguang-jun and Gideon and Shen Yuan and Gu Xiang and Tress and Nina. So he lays on the ground for a while, paging through issues while Hanguang-jun quietly picks out a tune on his qin and Danding nibbles his hair.

But after about half an hour, he's still got excitement and overstimulation brimming through his veins, so he sets Sensational She-Hulk #39 to one side (it's definitely going on Lancelot's list, probably also Tally's, possibly also Gideon's), twists his head, and waits for a lull in the music. When it comes, he says, "Hanguang-jun? I have... stuff. Not crisisy stuff. Mostly good stuff, and also... some questionsy stuff."

Comments

[summerdude]

"And I'm guessing the fact that Luo Binghe told me about the, um, protective nature of the plant isn't good-faith enough," Magnus says, thinking again of Luo Binghe's refusal to promise to not attack anyone else even after he shared knowledge of that particular use.

[lightbearinglord]

"I imagine Luo Binghe did not offer to take back his continued threats toward Claudius." Lan Wangji does pause, though, weighing it. Does he consider the offer of that information a gesture of good faith? It is hard to conceive of it as such; uncharitably, he can only presume that Luo Binghe did it because he is weary of the persistent mild social consequences of what he did. But he can hardly be certain of that or advise Magnus as if it is undeniably true. Luo Binghe is always caustic and unpleasant with him, calling him arrogant and pampered, as if they have wronged one another equally when Luo Binghe harmed his closest friend in a way that will follow him forever and Lan Wangji did no worse than disliking him and spilling his sugar. Perhaps he is kinder with others, as difficult as it is to picture that, but the duplicity in that does not speak particularly well of him, either. "It is not enough for me, and I suspect it is not enough for Claudius. If it is enough for you, that is your decision, but Claudius will be hurt by that decision."

[summerdude]

"I don't want to hurt Claudius," Magnus says, immediately. "He shouldn't be hurt anymore. Or in the first place. You know what I mean." He's quiet for a long moment, still turning over his thoughts.

He wants to believe that Luo Binghe can do better -- can be better. Even if Luo Binghe hasn't been trying friendship stuff with everyone, maybe Magnus is, like, a guinea pig or something, and he'll start.

But one thing is undeniably, inescapably true, and that's: "It doesn't count," he says, with a heavy sort of finality. "Without an actual apology, it doesn't count as restitution."

[lightbearinglord]

"No," Lan Wangji says, almost gentle with it. There are two phrases that must be said in one's life: thank you and I'm sorry. He can imagine Luo Binghe saying neither. "As I said. It is not enough."

[summerdude]

Magnus scrubs a hand over his face. "I still hate it," he tells Hanguang-jun.

[lightbearinglord]

"I know." Lan Wangji catches his hand for a moment and squeezes it before letting go of it again.

[summerdude]

"I guess it's, like, moot anyway," Magnus says. "I promised Galahad I wouldn't mention Claudius to him. I just... I guess I've been really worried about screwing it all up."

[lightbearinglord]

Magnus does tend to worry; Lan Wangji knows that already. "I know," he repeats, gentle again. "You want everything to be well."

[summerdude]

"No," Magnus says. "I mean yeah, I do, but it's that I don't know the balance here. Between, like, preventing future harm but also not exacerbating past harm."

[lightbearinglord]

"That is also not easy." He's looking down at Magnus with some tenderness now. "I know what I think is right. But these things are rarely simple."

[summerdude]

"I love Claudius. I hate that he was hurt so badly and I want him to feel safe." A pause. "I want everyone to be safe."

[lightbearinglord]

"I do, too. That is why we chose to end Aornis' life. It was not an easy decision, either."

[summerdude]

"No," Magnus agrees. He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hanguang-jun. I really am a hundred percent Team Claudius. I'm just trying to, you know. Wrap my mind around all of this."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji gives his head another fond caress. "I hoped, once, that there would always be a clear path and that if everything was done correctly, no pain would ever follow. I wish I had been right."

[summerdude]

"Thank you for telling me all this stuff, though. It does help clarify things."

[lightbearinglord]

"Do you have further questions?"

[summerdude]

"Yeah, actually. I want to make it really clear that I'm Team Claudius, but I think he might take it, you know, really badly if I, like, you know. Reject him to his face."

[lightbearinglord]

Indeed, Lan Wangji stiffens slightly with a fresh frisson of tension as he looks down at him. "No. Do not provoke Luo Binghe."

[summerdude]

"So what should I do? Keep the alliance we had when Shen Yuan was dead but make my support of Claudius clear and not let it go farther?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Must you say anything to him?"

[summerdude]

"I think I probably shouldn't just ghost him, either."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji pauses. "What?" It is an inopportune time for him to misunderstand a colloquialism.

[summerdude]

"That's when you stop talking to someone with no explanation. People use it in my time to break up, like, relationships or friendships -- or in this case, alliances -- or whatever."

[lightbearinglord]

"Is your alliance not finished now that Shen Yuan has returned? Do you frequently speak with him as it is?"

[summerdude]

"Sometimes? Like for example there was the time when we had the dream conversation, and the time that he opened a portal to my camp with his sword and then Jack started hitting on her so much he couldn't leave." Magnus is pretty sure Hanguang-jun knows about both of these things; he definitely at least told him that Jack likes Xin Mo. "That's why I was so surprised that he wasn't trying to do better with people. But I'm talking about the placeholder, Hanguang-jun. Since he asked if we were friends and I didn't commit. I think it's a bad idea to ghost him, especially since this place is small and he knows where I, you know. Live."