Perhaps Instead Of A Homeless Teen I Shoulda Been A 19th Century Newsboy, Given All These Headlines

[summerdude]

It's been a big few days in general, and this day, specifically, has also been pretty big, and so Magnus does the number two thing that reliably lets him reach a place where he feels more grounded: he goes to Hanguang-jun's parlor at a time when Hanguang-jun is also there playing music. (Number one, of course, is burying his face against Alex's belly and groaning. Number three, embarrassingly, is still finding a summery spot outside and praying to his dad.)

This time, he has a stack of comic books to go through -- he wants to start making tailored recommendation lists, for Tally and Lancelot (who he's made general recommendations to), but also for Galahad and Sagramore and Sunny and Hanguang-jun and Gideon and Shen Yuan and Gu Xiang and Tress and Nina. So he lays on the ground for a while, paging through issues while Hanguang-jun quietly picks out a tune on his qin and Danding nibbles his hair.

But after about half an hour, he's still got excitement and overstimulation brimming through his veins, so he sets Sensational She-Hulk #39 to one side (it's definitely going on Lancelot's list, probably also Tally's, possibly also Gideon's), twists his head, and waits for a lull in the music. When it comes, he says, "Hanguang-jun? I have... stuff. Not crisisy stuff. Mostly good stuff, and also... some questionsy stuff."

Comments

[lightbearinglord]

"I understand." Lan Wangji glances more purposefully down at him. "I told Galahad that I have seen what becomes of men who can think of nothing but their revenge. I want better for him, and I want him to have his safety and his voice at once."

[summerdude]

"Me too," fervently. Then he hesitates again. "Luo Binghe said he didn't see a need to change?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Yes. When we were trapped together at the mansion's whim." He musters a little grim humor to add, "He suggested that I am the one in need of change to meet his standards."

[summerdude]

"That's --" so stupid, Magnus doesn't say. "In the dream he gave me, he asked me how I make friends. I kinda thought he was trying the stuff I told him." This, obviously, is not on the list.

[lightbearinglord]

"Perhaps he is, with others. I believe I am the person he most hates at this mansion."

[summerdude]

"And," Magnus shifts a little and resettles, head tucked against the crook of Hanguang-jun's knee. "I'm guessing you don't trust whatever attempts at friendship he is trying to make?"

[lightbearinglord]

"When he secreted his blood into Claudius' food, they were friendly. They were flirting. And he claims no remorse for that or for the day of pain it wrought beyond that its consequences have been socially tiresome. How can he be trusted?" Danding is absolutely eyeing Magnus' hair and considering the resumption of his grooming efforts.

[summerdude]

Magnus nods, hesitates, and slants another glance up at Hanguang-jun's face. "He, um. When I was helping with the bodies. He asked me if we were friends."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji frowns faintly back down at him, wary at the thought of it. Magnus must have found some way to answer that did not offend Luo Binghe too grievously, or he would not be here calmly discussing it now, but it is still unsettling to imagine the conversation. Did Luo Binghe truly imagine that someone close with Claudius would consider offering his friendship? "What did you say?"

[summerdude]

"I, um." Magnus flushes. His gut instinct had been to say yes, and then as they kept talking, he'd qualified that response. "I kind of gave him a placeholder. I said we could work toward it because who knows what could happen in a hundred years? But that if he hurts anyone else, all bets are off." He makes a face -- Danding's nose suddenly pressing against his hairline is the only thing that keeps him from running his hands through his own hair. "For a little while, I wondered if maybe I should just say yes and use that to hold him accountable. You know? But I talked to, um, Dadgramore about it." Okay, that sounds weird out loud! "And he said I shouldn't agree to something just to get, like, leverage for protection. And Galahad doesn't want me mentioning Claudius to him ever, anyway -- I wouldn't tell him Claudius's business, ever, but I've read these things on restorative justice and they all say the first step is fully acknowledging wrongdoing."

[lightbearinglord]

There is so much to sort through there. Lan Wangji makes his best effort at doing so, his eyes on the small and repetitive motions of Danding's mouth as he nibbles at Magnus' hair, his paws up on Lan Wangji's leg.

"Sagramore is wise," he says. "I am not experienced with friendship. But it has been a balm for me, and a gift. I would not think to use it as a tool to coerce a tyrant into better behavior." If that is naive of him, then he can accept his own naivete in this respect. "Galahad asked Luo Binghe for only one thing during their confrontation: an apology to Claudius, who will always be afraid in his own home because of what happened. He could not even give that. What is there to restore?"

[summerdude]

"Claudius's sense of security," Magnus says. "And Luo Binghe finding a new way of doing things. He... I worry he's, like, a Loki, and that doing more terrible stuff to people will become a self-fulfilling prophecy if he, like, doesn't start to think of himself as a member of a community." Magnus loves Shen Yuan, but... he's not going to be the one to stop Luo Binghe from doing messed up stuff. "And at the time, I was working with different information. You know? I knew Claudius was hurt, but I didn't really get how badly. I thought Luo Binghe was changing for everyone. And Sagramore had said... a month or so earlier, he'd said Luo Binghe needed friends to hold him accountable. I've since gotten clarification on that," he adds, hastily. "And I'm listening to you guys, I remember now that not everything is my responsibility."

[lightbearinglord]

That scramble to clarify does turn Lan Wangji's expression briefly fond. He strokes Danding's head between the ears with two fingertips. Xiaoxue has begun dozing atop one of Magnus' books. "If Luo Binghe cannot find it within himself to refrain from torturing people for the crime of avoiding and disliking him, then restoration is truly impossible," Lan Wangji says, a little tightly.

[summerdude]

"Yeah, no, I can see that," Magnus says. "I just wish.... No. No, actually, I don't wish that."

[lightbearinglord]

The only thing Lan Wangji can possibly do in answer to that is pin Magnus with an expectant gaze. "What?"

[summerdude]

"Well, I was going to say I wish I could just, like, do an emotions Peace of Frey at him and fix everything, but... that sounds way too much like what my Evil Twin did to Galahad." Magnus's jaw is set. This is unacceptable.

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Naturally, that would indeed be unconscionable, and it would be meaningless for Luo Binghe to find his peaceful side only because of some external meddling. "Some things cannot be fixed."

[summerdude]

Magnus knows this well, but still. "I don't like that."

[lightbearinglord]

"Nor do I." Lan Wangji feels another pang of fondness. Magnus is so young. "But I am more interested in protecting Claudius from further pain than I am in waiting for his torturer to see reason."

[summerdude]

Magnus huffs such a powerful exhale it comes out sort of like he's blowing a raspberry. He can't help but want Luo Binghe to realize, and apologize, and get better.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji stays quiet for a breath or two. "Claudius considers you family," he says slowly. "His first family was not kind to him. It matters to him that he be protected and understood by this new one after he was so badly hurt."

[summerdude]

"Hanguang-jun, that's what I want, too."

[lightbearinglord]

"Then you already know you cannot pin your hopes on Luo Binghe's empathy without hurting Claudius further."

[summerdude]

"His empathy wouldn't make Claudius feel safer?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Luo Binghe said himself that he is without it. Waiting for it to manifest rather than turning your focus to Claudius himself will not make Claudius feel safer."