Perhaps Instead Of A Homeless Teen I Shoulda Been A 19th Century Newsboy, Given All These Headlines

[summerdude]

It's been a big few days in general, and this day, specifically, has also been pretty big, and so Magnus does the number two thing that reliably lets him reach a place where he feels more grounded: he goes to Hanguang-jun's parlor at a time when Hanguang-jun is also there playing music. (Number one, of course, is burying his face against Alex's belly and groaning. Number three, embarrassingly, is still finding a summery spot outside and praying to his dad.)

This time, he has a stack of comic books to go through -- he wants to start making tailored recommendation lists, for Tally and Lancelot (who he's made general recommendations to), but also for Galahad and Sagramore and Sunny and Hanguang-jun and Gideon and Shen Yuan and Gu Xiang and Tress and Nina. So he lays on the ground for a while, paging through issues while Hanguang-jun quietly picks out a tune on his qin and Danding nibbles his hair.

But after about half an hour, he's still got excitement and overstimulation brimming through his veins, so he sets Sensational She-Hulk #39 to one side (it's definitely going on Lancelot's list, probably also Tally's, possibly also Gideon's), twists his head, and waits for a lull in the music. When it comes, he says, "Hanguang-jun? I have... stuff. Not crisisy stuff. Mostly good stuff, and also... some questionsy stuff."

Comments

[summerdude]

"Okay," says Magnus. He can't really execute a good searching look at Hanguang-jun's face, what with his head being in his lap and everything, but he still does his level best. "Then I'm worried for Galahad."

[lightbearinglord]

"Because his anger matches my own?"

[summerdude]

"No." Magnus searches for the words to express his concerns. "I know he's as mad as you. Maybe even madder. I told him -- I told him I'm with him 100%, and I am. I'll do what he needs. He said he wanted to tell everyone what Luo Binghe did, and I get why, because I was kind of blindsided when I found out what happened to Claudius, and I'm close to you guys, and people should know." Probably. He guesses.

"But... Hanguang-jun... " He scrubs a hand over his face. "I thought Luo Binghe was changing. Is the thing. Because he changed with me, and I can't see why he'd do it with me and not everyone else. So I kind of thought that he was, like... a danger still, sure, because he's, you know. Pretty volatile. But he could be motivated to, like, deal with people knowing." He's quiet for a long moment. "I keep thinking, you know. Maybe he's like a Loki before Loki became Loki, and there's a chance for a different ending to this story or whatever. But if he's still doing all that stuff... and if Galahad telling everyone makes him feel, like, threatened... So I'm worried. But I think maybe it's wrong to tell Galahad because, like, you know, if a wound starts to fester, you have to clear out the infection."

There. Surely this has been well-communicated!

[lightbearinglord]

It takes, certainly not to Magnus' surprise, some time for Lan Wangji to arrange his thoughts. He pets Magnus' hair again as he thinks -- not absently, because he so rarely moves without intentionality, but as a counterpoint to his blank face and silent contemplation.

"If Luo Binghe is merciful to some people and cruel to others as he pleases, then I still consider him untrustworthy and dangerous," he says at length. "He told me himself that he sees no need to change." Another small pause. "The danger is present. It has always been present. I have often worried that Luo Binghe will attack Claudius again, and that I will be unable to intervene adequately. If we must all live beside a man whose blood can grant him such power over others, then our friends and family members deserve to know whose company they share.

"I have been assisting Claudius in the creation of an antidote to Luo Binghe's power. He will want to make it available to anyone who desires its protection. And I have asked Master Asmodean to step in if Luo Binghe becomes a problem again. He owes me a significant debt." He does not like Asmodean, but he does trust the power of that debt, and he trusts that Asmodean, unlike Luo Binghe, is not a danger to the people of this world. "I have regretted silence far more often than I have regretted putting my weight behind what I consider just. I advised Galahad to direct his anger not into returning the harm Luo Binghe has inflicted back to him, but into protecting and helping others."

[summerdude]

"Good," Magnus says, relaxing slightly. "About Galahad. I, like... I really never, ever want to, you know, silence him. You know? I'm never going to silence him. He's my best friend. My brother. We picked each other. I can't... Hanguang-jun, I won't take away his choices. But I come from, like, the pagan motherland of retribution and the biggest takeaway I have is it doesn't work. It just makes things worse. I think that's... I think that's what I was struggling with, a little, with the fighting stuff."

[lightbearinglord]

"I understand." Lan Wangji glances more purposefully down at him. "I told Galahad that I have seen what becomes of men who can think of nothing but their revenge. I want better for him, and I want him to have his safety and his voice at once."

[summerdude]

"Me too," fervently. Then he hesitates again. "Luo Binghe said he didn't see a need to change?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Yes. When we were trapped together at the mansion's whim." He musters a little grim humor to add, "He suggested that I am the one in need of change to meet his standards."

[summerdude]

"That's --" so stupid, Magnus doesn't say. "In the dream he gave me, he asked me how I make friends. I kinda thought he was trying the stuff I told him." This, obviously, is not on the list.

[lightbearinglord]

"Perhaps he is, with others. I believe I am the person he most hates at this mansion."

[summerdude]

"And," Magnus shifts a little and resettles, head tucked against the crook of Hanguang-jun's knee. "I'm guessing you don't trust whatever attempts at friendship he is trying to make?"

[lightbearinglord]

"When he secreted his blood into Claudius' food, they were friendly. They were flirting. And he claims no remorse for that or for the day of pain it wrought beyond that its consequences have been socially tiresome. How can he be trusted?" Danding is absolutely eyeing Magnus' hair and considering the resumption of his grooming efforts.

[summerdude]

Magnus nods, hesitates, and slants another glance up at Hanguang-jun's face. "He, um. When I was helping with the bodies. He asked me if we were friends."

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji frowns faintly back down at him, wary at the thought of it. Magnus must have found some way to answer that did not offend Luo Binghe too grievously, or he would not be here calmly discussing it now, but it is still unsettling to imagine the conversation. Did Luo Binghe truly imagine that someone close with Claudius would consider offering his friendship? "What did you say?"

[summerdude]

"I, um." Magnus flushes. His gut instinct had been to say yes, and then as they kept talking, he'd qualified that response. "I kind of gave him a placeholder. I said we could work toward it because who knows what could happen in a hundred years? But that if he hurts anyone else, all bets are off." He makes a face -- Danding's nose suddenly pressing against his hairline is the only thing that keeps him from running his hands through his own hair. "For a little while, I wondered if maybe I should just say yes and use that to hold him accountable. You know? But I talked to, um, Dadgramore about it." Okay, that sounds weird out loud! "And he said I shouldn't agree to something just to get, like, leverage for protection. And Galahad doesn't want me mentioning Claudius to him ever, anyway -- I wouldn't tell him Claudius's business, ever, but I've read these things on restorative justice and they all say the first step is fully acknowledging wrongdoing."

[lightbearinglord]

There is so much to sort through there. Lan Wangji makes his best effort at doing so, his eyes on the small and repetitive motions of Danding's mouth as he nibbles at Magnus' hair, his paws up on Lan Wangji's leg.

"Sagramore is wise," he says. "I am not experienced with friendship. But it has been a balm for me, and a gift. I would not think to use it as a tool to coerce a tyrant into better behavior." If that is naive of him, then he can accept his own naivete in this respect. "Galahad asked Luo Binghe for only one thing during their confrontation: an apology to Claudius, who will always be afraid in his own home because of what happened. He could not even give that. What is there to restore?"

[summerdude]

"Claudius's sense of security," Magnus says. "And Luo Binghe finding a new way of doing things. He... I worry he's, like, a Loki, and that doing more terrible stuff to people will become a self-fulfilling prophecy if he, like, doesn't start to think of himself as a member of a community." Magnus loves Shen Yuan, but... he's not going to be the one to stop Luo Binghe from doing messed up stuff. "And at the time, I was working with different information. You know? I knew Claudius was hurt, but I didn't really get how badly. I thought Luo Binghe was changing for everyone. And Sagramore had said... a month or so earlier, he'd said Luo Binghe needed friends to hold him accountable. I've since gotten clarification on that," he adds, hastily. "And I'm listening to you guys, I remember now that not everything is my responsibility."

[lightbearinglord]

That scramble to clarify does turn Lan Wangji's expression briefly fond. He strokes Danding's head between the ears with two fingertips. Xiaoxue has begun dozing atop one of Magnus' books. "If Luo Binghe cannot find it within himself to refrain from torturing people for the crime of avoiding and disliking him, then restoration is truly impossible," Lan Wangji says, a little tightly.

[summerdude]

"Yeah, no, I can see that," Magnus says. "I just wish.... No. No, actually, I don't wish that."

[lightbearinglord]

The only thing Lan Wangji can possibly do in answer to that is pin Magnus with an expectant gaze. "What?"

[summerdude]

"Well, I was going to say I wish I could just, like, do an emotions Peace of Frey at him and fix everything, but... that sounds way too much like what my Evil Twin did to Galahad." Magnus's jaw is set. This is unacceptable.

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Naturally, that would indeed be unconscionable, and it would be meaningless for Luo Binghe to find his peaceful side only because of some external meddling. "Some things cannot be fixed."

[summerdude]

Magnus knows this well, but still. "I don't like that."

[lightbearinglord]

"Nor do I." Lan Wangji feels another pang of fondness. Magnus is so young. "But I am more interested in protecting Claudius from further pain than I am in waiting for his torturer to see reason."

[summerdude]

Magnus huffs such a powerful exhale it comes out sort of like he's blowing a raspberry. He can't help but want Luo Binghe to realize, and apologize, and get better.