Perhaps Instead Of A Homeless Teen I Shoulda Been A 19th Century Newsboy, Given All These Headlines

[summerdude]

It's been a big few days in general, and this day, specifically, has also been pretty big, and so Magnus does the number two thing that reliably lets him reach a place where he feels more grounded: he goes to Hanguang-jun's parlor at a time when Hanguang-jun is also there playing music. (Number one, of course, is burying his face against Alex's belly and groaning. Number three, embarrassingly, is still finding a summery spot outside and praying to his dad.)

This time, he has a stack of comic books to go through -- he wants to start making tailored recommendation lists, for Tally and Lancelot (who he's made general recommendations to), but also for Galahad and Sagramore and Sunny and Hanguang-jun and Gideon and Shen Yuan and Gu Xiang and Tress and Nina. So he lays on the ground for a while, paging through issues while Hanguang-jun quietly picks out a tune on his qin and Danding nibbles his hair.

But after about half an hour, he's still got excitement and overstimulation brimming through his veins, so he sets Sensational She-Hulk #39 to one side (it's definitely going on Lancelot's list, probably also Tally's, possibly also Gideon's), twists his head, and waits for a lull in the music. When it comes, he says, "Hanguang-jun? I have... stuff. Not crisisy stuff. Mostly good stuff, and also... some questionsy stuff."

Comments

[summerdude]

Magnus doesn't know Melanippe from Porphyrion, so the 'autumn' designation is helpful.

About a million questions bubble up inside him at the rest of what Hanguang-jun has said, though, starting with, me? Even back then? and spiraling on from there. Instead of asking most of them, though, he frowns. "Like," he says. "A month and a half after I got here?"

[lightbearinglord]

"Mn." Slightly eased now, Lan Wangji smooths that same stray lock of Magnus' light hair back from his forehead again.

[summerdude]

"That doesn't make any sense."

[lightbearinglord]

A little surprised, Lan Wangji asks, "Why not?"

[summerdude]

Magnus frowns. "He gave me a dream then, too. But it was an apology dream."

[lightbearinglord]

Frankly, Lan Wangji is very surprised to hear that Luo Binghe is capable of apology. "He apologized to you? He has refused to apologize to Claudius."

[summerdude]

"Yeah, basically. He said he didn't mean to harm me when he, um. When he pretended to be you, and as a show of good faith and to make up for it he wanted to give me a good dream. So I made him have an actual conversation with me."

[lightbearinglord]

For a moment, Lan Wangji is silent. He doesn't want Luo Binghe to have been crueler to Magnus, but he can't understand how he would make such a gesture of goodwill toward Magnus while remaining so unrepentant toward Claudius. That tension creeps back into his expression. "Then I imagine he will not apologize to Claudius because that harm was intentional. And in imitating me, he intended me to be the target of that harm, not you."

[summerdude]

"I, um. I kind of thought that meant it was the end of all that... stuff," Magnus confesses. "His, like, bad behavior or whatever."

[lightbearinglord]

"Even if it had been the end, I would still consider him dangerous and unworthy of my forgiveness. But it was not." With some effort, he keeps to that reasonably calm cadence. "He continued to threaten Claudius. He invaded both of our dreams. He toyed with us both on the day the mansion traded likenesses among us. And he still refuses to apologize for the pain and fear he inflicted on my brother."

[summerdude]

"He did?" Magnus asks, dismayed. "Toyed how?"

[lightbearinglord]

"My friendship with young master Morozova was in its infancy. Luo Binghe, wearing his face, allowed me to believe that my new friend had turned abruptly unkind, mocking my efforts at cooking for him. On that same day, he failed to disclose his identity to Claudius and received affection to which he was not entitled as his reward for the deception."

[summerdude]

It's still so weird to Magnus that Hanguang-jun likes Nina's boogeyman. Magnus's frown deepens.

[lightbearinglord]

Lan Wangji was nearly incandescent with rage and the ghost of humiliation that day, and that was before he learned about Luo Binghe deceiving Claudius, too. He draws another slow, slow breath and tries to steady himself. "Claudius blamed himself, as if he should have known that any kind and beloved face might be Luo Binghe in disguise. He already spent months wary of preparing food after he was poisoned in a kitchen with a poison he could not have known to avoid."

[summerdude]

"That's so -- infuriating."

[lightbearinglord]

"It is." Lan Wangji could almost laugh. It is an understatement, but one of perfect truth. "I cannot release my anger."

[summerdude]

Magnus looks up at him.

[lightbearinglord]

Naturally, Lan Wangji meets his gaze. The tension is still there; he suspects he will never learn to soothe every bit of his tension when he thinks of Luo Binghe. The memory of Claudius' drawn face is stark, and that of how he tried to smooth over the desperation of his request for Lan Wangji's assistance. But he is more accustomed to this anger now, and better at carrying it.

[summerdude]

"You told me to be careful around him."

[lightbearinglord]

"Of course. I don't trust him, and he is more powerful than I am."

[summerdude]

"Okay," says Magnus. He can't really execute a good searching look at Hanguang-jun's face, what with his head being in his lap and everything, but he still does his level best. "Then I'm worried for Galahad."

[lightbearinglord]

"Because his anger matches my own?"

[summerdude]

"No." Magnus searches for the words to express his concerns. "I know he's as mad as you. Maybe even madder. I told him -- I told him I'm with him 100%, and I am. I'll do what he needs. He said he wanted to tell everyone what Luo Binghe did, and I get why, because I was kind of blindsided when I found out what happened to Claudius, and I'm close to you guys, and people should know." Probably. He guesses.

"But... Hanguang-jun... " He scrubs a hand over his face. "I thought Luo Binghe was changing. Is the thing. Because he changed with me, and I can't see why he'd do it with me and not everyone else. So I kind of thought that he was, like... a danger still, sure, because he's, you know. Pretty volatile. But he could be motivated to, like, deal with people knowing." He's quiet for a long moment. "I keep thinking, you know. Maybe he's like a Loki before Loki became Loki, and there's a chance for a different ending to this story or whatever. But if he's still doing all that stuff... and if Galahad telling everyone makes him feel, like, threatened... So I'm worried. But I think maybe it's wrong to tell Galahad because, like, you know, if a wound starts to fester, you have to clear out the infection."

There. Surely this has been well-communicated!

[lightbearinglord]

It takes, certainly not to Magnus' surprise, some time for Lan Wangji to arrange his thoughts. He pets Magnus' hair again as he thinks -- not absently, because he so rarely moves without intentionality, but as a counterpoint to his blank face and silent contemplation.

"If Luo Binghe is merciful to some people and cruel to others as he pleases, then I still consider him untrustworthy and dangerous," he says at length. "He told me himself that he sees no need to change." Another small pause. "The danger is present. It has always been present. I have often worried that Luo Binghe will attack Claudius again, and that I will be unable to intervene adequately. If we must all live beside a man whose blood can grant him such power over others, then our friends and family members deserve to know whose company they share.

"I have been assisting Claudius in the creation of an antidote to Luo Binghe's power. He will want to make it available to anyone who desires its protection. And I have asked Master Asmodean to step in if Luo Binghe becomes a problem again. He owes me a significant debt." He does not like Asmodean, but he does trust the power of that debt, and he trusts that Asmodean, unlike Luo Binghe, is not a danger to the people of this world. "I have regretted silence far more often than I have regretted putting my weight behind what I consider just. I advised Galahad to direct his anger not into returning the harm Luo Binghe has inflicted back to him, but into protecting and helping others."

[summerdude]

"Good," Magnus says, relaxing slightly. "About Galahad. I, like... I really never, ever want to, you know, silence him. You know? I'm never going to silence him. He's my best friend. My brother. We picked each other. I can't... Hanguang-jun, I won't take away his choices. But I come from, like, the pagan motherland of retribution and the biggest takeaway I have is it doesn't work. It just makes things worse. I think that's... I think that's what I was struggling with, a little, with the fighting stuff."